George Quote #701
Quote from George in The Barber
[As George sleeps at his desk, Mr. Tuttle walks into his office]
George: Mr. Tuttle, you're back.
Mr. Tuttle: George, I'm surprised to find you here.
George: You are?
Mr. Tuttle: I thought you would have taken the large office.
George: Oh. Really.
Mr. Tuttle: I guess I didn't make that clear when I hired you. So where's that Pensky file? Let's see what you've been up to all week.
George: Well, here it is.
Mr. Tuttle: [looks through the file] What have you been doing all week?
George: Well, you missed a lovely little party that we had for Grace.
Mr. Tuttle: You haven't done anything with this.
George: Well, bear in mind that I am in the smaller office.
Mr. Tuttle: I'm beginning to wonder if you understand anything.
George: You are aware that Pensky is interested in me.
Mr. Tuttle: [scoffs] You're not Pensky material.
George: Well, we'll just see about that. Ta-ta, Tuttle.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Barber’ Quotes
Quote from George
George: I have an idea.
Jerry: Yeah?
George: I show up.
Jerry: What do you mean you show up?
George: I show up. I pretend I have the job. The guy's on vacation. If I have the job, it's fine. If I don't have the job, by the time he comes back, I'm ensconced.
Jerry: Hmm. Not bad.
George: What's the worst thing that could happen?
Jerry: Well, you'd be embarrassed and humiliated in front of a large group of people and have to walk out in shame with your tail between your legs.
George: Yeah, so?
Jerry: Yeah. I see what you mean. I forgot who I was dealing with.
Quote from Kramer
Elaine: [to Jerry] You know what, you should go over there and get one to look good for my bachelor auction.
Kramer: What bachelor auction?
Elaine: Oh, it's a thing where they auction off dates with bachelors for charity.
Kramer: And you didn't ask me to do it? I could raise enough money to cure polio.
Jerry: I believe they've had a cure for polio for quite some time.
Kramer: Polio?
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: The old-fashioned barbershop is, unfortunately, becoming a thing of the past. Now, what went wrong? Well, first of all, he needs a $20,000 chair to make a three dollar tip. I say, cut back on the chair, update the magazines. Why do barbers always display that license? There's no laws in hair-cutting. Except show ever customer the back of their head. That's the one law. I don't wanna see the back of my head. Why do I want to see something that I'm never gonna see at any other time? When I buy pants, two salesmen don't lift me up by the leg and go, "How do you like the crotch?" If I wanted to see everything, I would have been a fly.