Jerry Quote #823

Quote from Jerry in The Non-Fat Yogurt

Maryedith: Well, I hope you're satisfied.
Jerry: What?
Maryedith: Every word out of my son's mouth now is [beep], [beep], [beep]. You know what he said to me five minutes ago? Where's my [beep]ing cupcake?
Jerry: Gee, I'm really sorry.
Maryedith: He wants to be like you because you're a comedian. Maybe you could talk to him?
Jerry: I'd be happy to.
Maryedith: Thank you.
Jerry: Ah, Mary, we've been eating a lot of your husband's yogurt at the yogurt place. Does that have any fat in it?
Maryedith: No [beep]ing way!


 ‘The Non-Fat Yogurt’ Quotes

Quote from George

George: So, he made an appointment for me to see Dinkins' doctor. He's just trying to humiliate me.
Jerry: Uh-huh.
George: And I have to go. If I don't go, he'll know I'm lying.
Jerry: Well, so, what are you going to do? Sit in the doctor's office doing this? He's going to think you're a mental patient.
George: I don't care. Look, Lloyd doesn't know what he's up against. This is nothing to me. My whole life is a lie!

Quote from Newman

Newman: Well, I wouldn't hear of it. I said, "Nice try, granny!" And I sent her to the back of the line! [laughs]
Jerry: Hello, Newman.
Newman: Hello, Jerry. Say, this yogurt is really something, huh? And it's non-fat. I've been waiting for something like this my whole life. And it's finally here!

Quote from George

George: The next morning, I woke up, and it was going like this. I can control it if I really concentrate. But otherwise, oh!
Doctor: Yes, well, I'm going to have to be perfectly honest with you.
George: Please, doctor.
Doctor: I've examined you.
George: Yes.
Doctor: I've looked at your X-rays.
George: Uh-huh.
Doctor: And I find that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.
George: Hmm. Really? Nothing?
Doctor: Nothing that would indicate involuntary spasms.
George: Well, it's kind of a mystery, isn't it?
Doctor: No, not really.
George: How so?
Doctor: May I suggest the possibility that you're faking?
George: Faking? What makes you think that I have time to see doctors, take X-rays, make appointments, when there's absolutely nothing wrong with me? What kind of a person would do a thing like that?
Doctor: I don't know what kind of a person would do something like that. Obviously a very sick person. A very immature person. A person who has no regard for wasting other people's valuable time. Good-bye.
George: Now, see here, doctor.
Doctor: I said, good-bye.
George: Fine. [stands up, hits elbow on table] Ow!