George Quote #669
Mrs. Sweedler: It's been a very trying couple of days around the hospital. Doctors, patients, everyone, just grief-stricken over this unfortunate occurrence.
George: Well, I join them in their grief.
Mrs. Sweedler: Horrible thing. Flew right past the children's wing. All the sick children in the playroom,
looking out the window just traumatized by the incident. Apparently they thought he was flying. You know how children are. "Oh, look, a man is flying. A man is flying!" And then splat.
George: That's where I come in. On "splat." You see, Mrs. Sweedler... Or is it Hospital Administrator Sweedler?
Mrs. Sweedler: Mrs. Sweedler is fine.
George: Mrs. Sweedler. Thank you very much. You see, this tragedy has affected me in a very... A very personal way.
Mrs. Sweedler: How is that?
George: Yes, well, you see... the deceased... landed on my car. The splat, as it were, actually occurred on the roof of my car. Now, of course, I can't help but feel that... had it been a convertible, this whole tragedy might have been averted. But I've never really been the kind of guy to buy a convertible... what with the baldness and everything.
Mrs. Sweedler: Well, I have known bald men who owned convertibles. They wore a hat.
George: Yes, but then everything's all pulled down, and it's...
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Bris’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Hey, I just saw a pig-man. A pig-man. He was sleeping, and then he woke up and he looked at me... and he made this horrible sound, this [squeals].
George: Kramer, what are you talking about?
Kramer: I'm talking about a pig-man. I walked in the wrong room, and there he was.
George: A pig-man?
Kramer: A pig-man. Half pig, half man.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Hey, we're not talking about a manicure. Imagine, this is gonna be his first memory... of his parents just standing there while some stranger, [chopping noise], cuts off a piece of his manhood and then serves a catered lunch. [Myra starts crying]
Stan: Myra?
Kramer: She'll be okay.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Don't ever question my instincts, because my instincts are honed. Look at that. Look, look.
Jerry: What now? "Hospital receives grant to conduct DNA research. Government funds genetic research at area hospital." Yeah, so?
Kramer: Pig-man, baby, pig-man.
Elaine: If I have to hear about this pig-man one more time...
Kramer: Hey, I'm telling you, the pig-man is alive. The government has been experimenting with pig-men since the '50s.
Jerry: Oh, will you stop it? Just because the hospital's conducting DNA research doesn't mean they're creating mutant pig-men.
Kramer: Jerry, will you wake up to reality? It's a military thing. They're probably creating a whole army of pig warriors.