Jerry Quote #809
[stand-up:]
Jerry: To me, what's really amazing is that for every job that there is in the world, there's someone willing to do it. Someone goes, "Yes, I will stand in the tunnel breathing exhaust... watching the cars go by, making sure everything's okay." Someone goes, "Yes, I will work behind the elephant with the big shovel. I will do it." Doctors go, "Yes, I will confine myself to one particularly objectionable part of the human body, all day, every day. I will do it." I think a lot of people that are unemployed are not really unable to find work, they're just easily disgusted. "Yes, I'm starving, and my family has no clothing or shelter, but I'm not cleaning that up."
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Bris’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Hey, I just saw a pig-man. A pig-man. He was sleeping, and then he woke up and he looked at me... and he made this horrible sound, this [squeals].
George: Kramer, what are you talking about?
Kramer: I'm talking about a pig-man. I walked in the wrong room, and there he was.
George: A pig-man?
Kramer: A pig-man. Half pig, half man.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Hey, we're not talking about a manicure. Imagine, this is gonna be his first memory... of his parents just standing there while some stranger, [chopping noise], cuts off a piece of his manhood and then serves a catered lunch. [Myra starts crying]
Stan: Myra?
Kramer: She'll be okay.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Don't ever question my instincts, because my instincts are honed. Look at that. Look, look.
Jerry: What now? "Hospital receives grant to conduct DNA research. Government funds genetic research at area hospital." Yeah, so?
Kramer: Pig-man, baby, pig-man.
Elaine: If I have to hear about this pig-man one more time...
Kramer: Hey, I'm telling you, the pig-man is alive. The government has been experimenting with pig-men since the '50s.
Jerry: Oh, will you stop it? Just because the hospital's conducting DNA research doesn't mean they're creating mutant pig-men.
Kramer: Jerry, will you wake up to reality? It's a military thing. They're probably creating a whole army of pig warriors.