Elaine Quote #314
Mohel: Darling, you see where that glass is? See how the glass is near the edge? You've got the whole table to put the glass. Why you chose the absolute edge so half the glass is hanging off the table. You breathe, and it falls over. Then you've got broken glass on the carpet. Embedded in the carpet fibers, deep in the shag, broken glass. Bits of broken glass you can never get up. Can't get it up with a vacuum. Even on your knees with a magnifying glass... you'll never get all the pieces. And then you think you got it all. And then one day, two years later, you're barefoot, you step on broken glass and kill yourself! Is that what you want? I don't think that's what you want. Do you?
Elaine: [to Myra and Stan] He's very highly recommended, so...
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Bris’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Hey, I just saw a pig-man. A pig-man. He was sleeping, and then he woke up and he looked at me... and he made this horrible sound, this [squeals].
George: Kramer, what are you talking about?
Kramer: I'm talking about a pig-man. I walked in the wrong room, and there he was.
George: A pig-man?
Kramer: A pig-man. Half pig, half man.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Hey, we're not talking about a manicure. Imagine, this is gonna be his first memory... of his parents just standing there while some stranger, [chopping noise], cuts off a piece of his manhood and then serves a catered lunch. [Myra starts crying]
Stan: Myra?
Kramer: She'll be okay.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Don't ever question my instincts, because my instincts are honed. Look at that. Look, look.
Jerry: What now? "Hospital receives grant to conduct DNA research. Government funds genetic research at area hospital." Yeah, so?
Kramer: Pig-man, baby, pig-man.
Elaine: If I have to hear about this pig-man one more time...
Kramer: Hey, I'm telling you, the pig-man is alive. The government has been experimenting with pig-men since the '50s.
Jerry: Oh, will you stop it? Just because the hospital's conducting DNA research doesn't mean they're creating mutant pig-men.
Kramer: Jerry, will you wake up to reality? It's a military thing. They're probably creating a whole army of pig warriors.