Kramer Quote #322

Quote from Kramer in The Sniffing Accountant

Kramer: I'll have a brewski, Charlie.
Bartender: Name's Mitch.
Kramer: Oh, there's nothing like a cold one after a long day, huh?
Barry: Yeah.
Kramer: Oh, yeah. I've been known to drink a beer or two. But then again, I've been known to do a lot of things.
[A waitress walks by and lifts the bar counter door, hitting Kramer in the face. He shuffles over, closer to Barry]
Kramer: Cigarette?
Barry: No, no. I never touch them.
Kramer: Well, I suck 'em down like Coca-Cola. Well here's to feeling good all the time.
[Kramer smokes the cigarette and drinks the beer at the same time]
Barry: [sniffs]
Kramer: Looks like you've got yourself a little cold there, huh, fella?
Barry: I don't think so.
Kramer: Me neither.
[Kramer smokes the wrong end of the cigarette]


 ‘The Sniffing Accountant’ Quotes

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: Well, I mean if one of your close friends had a baby and I left you a message about it, I would use an exclamation point.
Jake: Well, maybe I don't use my exclamation points as haphazardly as you do.
Elaine: You don't think that someone having a baby warrants an exclamation point.
Jake: Hey, I just chalked down the message. I didn't know I was required to capture the mood of each caller.
Elaine: I just thought you would be a little more excited about a friend of mine having a baby.
Jake: Okay, I'm excited. I just don't happen to like exclamation points.
Elaine: Well, you know Jake, you should learn to use them. Like the way I'm talking right now, I would put an exclamation points at the end of all these sentences! On this one! And on that one!
Jake: Well, you can put one on this one: I'm leaving!

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: You wanted to see me, Mr. Lippman?
Mr. Lippman: I was just going over the Jake Jarmel book and I understand you worked with him very closely.
Elaine: Yes. Yes, I did.
Mr. Lippman: And, anyway I was just reading your final edit. Um, there seems to be an inordinate number of exclamation points.
Elaine: Well, I felt that the writing lacked certain emotion and intensity.
Mr. Lippman: Ah. Hmm. "It was damp and chilly afternoon, so I decided to put on my sweatshirt!"
Elaine: Right, well.
Mr. Lippman: You put exclamation point after sweatshirt?
Elaine: That's that's correct. I-I felt that the character doesn't like to be ch-ch-chilly.
Mr. Lippman: I see. "I pulled the lever on the machine, but the Clark bar didn't come out!" Again, exclamation point.
Elaine: Well, yeah. You know how frustrating that can be when you keep putting quarters and quarters in to machine and then nothing comes out...
Mr. Lippman: Get rid of the exclamation points. I hate exclamation points.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: He went to South America.
Kramer: Yeah?
Elaine: So what?
Jerry: Who goes to South America?
Elaine: People go to South America.
Jerry: Yeah, and they come back with things taped to their large intestine.
Elaine: So, because of a few bad apples you're gonna impugn an entire continent?
Jerry: Yes, I'm impugning a continent.