Jerry Quote #780
Quote from Jerry in The Glasses
Elaine: Oh, come on. Cousin Jeffrey? It's not possible.
Jerry: Why not? They could have met. She loves the park, he works for the Parks Department.
Elaine: Jerry, that is so ridiculous. But George didn't even have his glasses on.
Jerry: But he was squinting.
Elaine: So what? Squinting doesn't make that much of a difference.
Jerry: Are you kidding? I've seen him squint. He can squint his way down to like twenty, thirty vision. Once, we were driving down from the Catskills and he lost his glasses. He squinted his way from Wurtsboro down to the Tappan Zee Bridge. He was spotting raccoons on the road!
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Glasses’ Quotes
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: I've got such a headache. Oh, that's another symptom!
Kramer: Of what?
Jerry: Rabies.
Kramer: Oh, that's fatal. You don't want that!
Elaine: [grabs Kramer] I know I don't want it! I don't need you to tell me what I don't want, you stupid hipster dufus!
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I never get enough sleep. I stay up late at night, cause I'm Night Guy. Night Guy wants to stay up late. "What about getting up after five hours sleep?" "Oh, that's Morning Guy's problem. That's not my problem, I'm Night Guy. I stay up as late as I want." So you get up in the morning, you're exhausted, groggy. Oh, I hate that Night Guy! See, Night Guy always screws Morning Guy. There's nothing Morning Guy can do. The only Morning Guy can do is try and oversleep often enough so that Day Guy looses his job and Night Guy has no money to go out anymore.
Quote from Kramer
Dwayne: Who said anything about a discount?
Kramer: Ooh, how quickly we forget. You owe me buddy.
Dwayne: For what?
Kramer: [pulls out a candy bar] Remember this?
Dwayne: What are you doing?
Kramer: Six months ago you were eating four of those for breakfast and chasing it with a ring ding. And two butter fingers on the train. Sounds familiar?
Dwayne: Put that away!
Kramer: Remember that night I found you at Dinky Donuts? You were all hopped up on cinnamon swirls! They wouldn't serve you anymore! You wouldn't even have any teeth if it wasn't for me taking you over to Joe's fruit stand and stuff a cantaloupe down your throat! So much for gratitude. Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Dwayne: All right, all right, all right! I'll give him the discount, just put that thing away! But this squares us.