Seinfeld - Jerry Quote #775

Quote from Jerry in The Puffy Shirt

[stand-up:]
Jerry: Why do we always have to say, "Excuse me", when we can't hear what someone's saying? Why are we so guilty and so apologetic? "Excuse me. Pardon me. I'm sorry." Why can't, just once, I go: "Nope. Not loud enough"? Why can't I do that? Just once I would like to have the guts... You know, to make that judgment. Someone mumbles something, and you go, "Your fault. I'm not sorry, because it's your fault."

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‘The Puffy Shirt’ Quotes

Quote from Jerry

Bryant Gumbel: Look, I'm sorry, it is just a very unusual shirt. It could be, kind of, a whole new look for you. You could put a patch over an eye. You could be the pirate comedian.
Jerry: Yeah.
Bryant Gumbel: Will you wear the puffy shirt at the..?
Jerry: Look, it's not my shirt.
Bryant Gumbel: Whose shirt is it?
Jerry: What's the difference? I agreed to wear it. It's a puffy shirt. I feel ridiculous in it. I think it's the stupidest shirt I've ever seen, to be perfectly honest with you.
Leslie: [o.s., loudly] You bastard!
Bryant Gumbel: Did you hear that?
Jerry: That I heard.

Quote from Jerry

Bryant Gumbel: Back now, 7:46. On Tuesday the 19th here in New York there will be a benefit for the Goodwill Industries, a used clothing organization that provides service to the needy. One of the performers will be comedian Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry, good morning.
Jerry: Thank you, Bryant.
Bryant Gumbel: And speaking of clothing , that is a very, very unusual shirt you have on.
Jerry: Oh, thank you.
Bryant Gumbel: You're all kinda.. Aall kinda "puffed up". [chuckles]
Jerry: Yeah, it's a puffy shirt.

Quote from Estelle Costanza

Estelle Costanza: I knew it. I knew it. I always knew you always had beautiful hands. I used to tell people. Frank, didn't I use to talk about his hands?
Frank Costanza: Who the hell did you ever mention his hands to?
Estelle Costanza: I mentioned his hands to plenty of people!
Frank Costanza: You never mentioned them to me!
George: Hand me an Emory board.
Estelle Costanza: I always talk about your hands. How they're so soft and milky white.
Frank Costanza: No! You never said milky white!
Estelle Costanza: I said milky white!

Jerry Quotes

Quote from The Yada Yada

Tim Whatley: Father Curtis told me about your little joke.
Jerry: What about all your Jewish jokes?
Tim Whatley: I'm Jewish. You're not a dentist. You have no idea what my people have been through.
Jerry: The Jews?
Tim Whatley: No, the dentists. You know, we have the highest suicide rate of any profession?
Jerry: Is that why it's so hard to get an appointment?

Quote from The Puffy Shirt

Bryant Gumbel: Look, I'm sorry, it is just a very unusual shirt. It could be, kind of, a whole new look for you. You could put a patch over an eye. You could be the pirate comedian.
Jerry: Yeah.
Bryant Gumbel: Will you wear the puffy shirt at the..?
Jerry: Look, it's not my shirt.
Bryant Gumbel: Whose shirt is it?
Jerry: What's the difference? I agreed to wear it. It's a puffy shirt. I feel ridiculous in it. I think it's the stupidest shirt I've ever seen, to be perfectly honest with you.
Leslie: [o.s., loudly] You bastard!
Bryant Gumbel: Did you hear that?
Jerry: That I heard.

Quote from The Raincoats

[stand-up:]
Jerry: Personal distance is a very important thing. There's a new personal distance, ATM distance. When someone's using an ATM, you wanna be about six feet back, don't you? Because people a little edgy around that ATM don't they? They got their money out, their eyes are darting all around. The other place I wanna be about six feet away is a urinal. You want some distance there, too. ATMs and urinals. I guess whenever someone's taking valuable out of their pants you want to give them as much room as possible.