Jerry Quote #765
[stand-up:]
Jerry: A female orgasm is kinda like the bat cave. Very few people know where it is. And if you're lucky enough to see it, you probably don't know how you got there and you can't find you way back after you left. There are two types of female orgasm: the real and the fake. And I'll tell you right now, as a man, we don't know. We do not know, because to a man sex is like a car accident and determining the female orgasm is like being asked "What did you see after the car went out of control?". "Uh, I heard a lot of screeching sounds. I remember I was facing the wrong way at one point. And in the end my body was thrown clear."
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Mango’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Well, you know, we had a fight over the peach and... Well, Joe doesn't want my business.
George: Hey, was that a joke about Houdini?
Jerry: No. [to Kramer] I told you not to say anything.
Kramer: Jerry, what am I gonna do for fruit?
Jerry: Well, you'll have to go to the supermarket.
Kramer: The supermarket? That's impossible! They don't have a decent piece of fruit at the supermarket. The apples are mealy. The oranges are dry. I don't know what's going on with the Papayas! Jerry, you gotta go to Joe's, you gotta get me some fruit!
Quote from George
George: It's all your fault! You and Elaine! All that orgasm talk. She did have an orgasm, she didn't have an orgasm. Orgasm this, orgasm that. I got so focused on it. I started to panic and boom, I lost it. I tried everything, I was talking to him. "Please wake up, do something."
Jerry: They're mysterious little fellows aren't they?
George: I hate 'em!
Jerry: You know, it happens to everybody. It happened to Houdini. And he could get out of a trunk under water with his hands in chains! But he had a problem with that. The miracle is that it ever happens.
George: It's like a magic trick. Sometimes I think it would be easier to bend a spoon mentally than to make that transformation.
Quote from George
George: I don't know. Last time I got the tap.
Jerry: You got the tap?
George: You know, you're going along, you think everything's all right and all of a sudden you get that tap. [George taps his own shoulder]. You know it's like, "[whistles] All right, that's enough. You're through."
Jerry: The tap is tough.
George: It's like the manager coming out and asking you for the ball.
Jerry: Well, maybe she just wanted to move on to other business.
George: No, no, this wasn't moving on. I got the hook. I wish I could get a lesson in that.
Jerry: It's a very complicated area.
George: You can go crazy trying to figure that place out.
Jerry: It's a hazy mystery.