Jerry Quote #718
Quote from Jerry in The Handicap Spot
Jerry: Hey, what's going on over here?
Elaine: Must have been an accident.
Jerry: [to a woman] Hey, what's going on?
Woman: Some jerk parked in a handicap spot, so this woman in a wheelchair had to wheel up this incline, and half way up her batteries gave up, and she rolled backwards into the wall. Had to take her to St. Elizabeth's...
Jerry: Is she OK?
Woman: I don't know. We're just waiting here for the owner of this car to show up. He may not get out alive! Lazy buy, taking up a handicap spot. He's gonna pay!
Jerry: Son's of bitches! Good luck finding them... him... whatever. I'd like to stick around and get my hands on him myself, but I gotta take off.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Handicap Spot’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: It's over!
Jerry: What's over?
Kramer: Me and Lola.
George: The woman we bought the wheelchair for?
Kramer: Yeah, she dumped me!
Jerry: She dumped you?
Kramer: She dumped me! She rolled right over me! Said I was a hipster-dufus. Am I a hipster-dufus?
Jerry & George: No.
Kramer: Said I'm not good looking enough for her. Not good looking! Jerry, look at me. Look at my
face, huh, am I beautiful? George, am I beautiful?
George: ... You're very attractive.
Kramer: Yeah. She says she doesn't wanna see me again. Told me to drop dead!
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Boy, that's a nice triangle.
Jerry: It's isosceles
Kramer: Ooh, isosceles. I love the name Isosceles. You know, if I had a kid, I would name him Isosceles. Isosceles Kramer.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I have a friend who is about to get married, they're having the bachelor party and the bridal shower on the same day. So it's conceivable that while she's getting the lingerie, he'll be at a nude bar watching a table dancer wearing the same outfit. That is possible. But to me, the difference between being single and being married, is the form of government. You see, when you're single, you are the dictator of your own life. I have complete power. When I give the order to fall asleep on the sofa with the TV on in the middle of the day, no-one can overrule me! When you're married, you're part of a vast decision-making body. Before anything gets done there are meetings. Committees have to study the situation. And this is if the marriage works. That's what's so painful about divorce: you've been impeached and you weren't even the president!