Jerry Quote #683
Quote from Jerry in The Implant
Jerry: So, you going to the funeral?
George: Why, you think I should?
Jerry: What, are you kidding? It's a golden opportunity to advance the relationship. She's crying, you put your arm around her and console her, you're the consolation guy!
George: I'm the consolation guy?
Kramer: Consolation Guy is big.
Jerry: Her aunt dying is the best thing that ever happened to you.
Kramer: It's like ten dates in one shot.
Jerry: This confers upon you instant boyfriend status. The family's there. You're taking care of things, you're getting the sandwiches, you're the rock!
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Implant’ Quotes
Quote from George
Timmy: Did you just double-dip that chip?
George: Excuse me?
Timmy: You double-dipped the chip!
George: "Double-dipped"? What are you talking about?
Timmy: You dipped the chip. You took a bite. And you dipped again.
George: So...?
Timmy: That's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip! From now on, when you take a chip, just take one dip and end it!
George: Well, I'm sorry, Timmy... but I don't dip that way. [takes a chip]
Timmy: Oh, you don't, huh?
George: No. [dips the chip] You dip the way you want to dip... [bites the chip] I'll dip the way I want to dip. [dips again]
Quote from Kramer
Jerry: Oh, how can you be so sure?
Kramer: Jerry, are you blind? He's a writer. He said his name was Sal Bass. Bass. Instead of salmon, he went with bass. He just substituted one fish for another.
Jerry: Look, you idiot. First of all, it's "Salman", not "Salmon".
Kramer: Jerry! Jerry, you're missing the big picture.
Quote from Jerry
Elaine: You've dated women with nose jobs, what's the difference?
Jerry: You don't touch the nose. You don't aspire to reach the nose. You don't unhook anything to get to a nose, and no man has ever tried to look up a woman's nostril.
Elaine: You've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?
Jerry: Well, I take it very seriously.
Elaine: You know, sometimes when I think you're the shallowest man I've ever met, you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool.