Jerry Quote #646
Russell: Well, we'd better get started, my daughter's going to be here soon.
Jerry: Oh, you have a daughter?
Russell: Yeah, she just turned fifteen last week.
George: Aw, that's a fun age. [Jerry shoots George a look]
Russell: All right. The script. Now, I've read this thing three times... [gagging] End every time I read it...
Jerry: What?
Russell: Excuse me for a second. [Gets up and rushes out]
George: Would you like a Pepto-Bismol? I keep them in my wallet...! [to Jerry] Do you think he liked it?
Russell: [o.s.] [heaves]
Jerry: I'm not sure.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Shoes’ Quotes
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: [imitates Gail] "Oh, look at you, the Botticelli's."
Jerry: That bothered you?
Elaine: Yes, it bothered me. So I bought a pair of shoes at Botticelli's, I'm not allowed to shop there? That really embarrassed me.
Jerry: It did?
Elaine: Yes! Couldn't you see that?
Jerry: No. This is why you're not in the pilot.
Quote from George
Jerry: Now come on, let's stay with it, we gotta finish this today.
George: Okay. Hey, you know what, maybe I should give it to my therapist to read. She's smart, I trust her.
Jerry: Yeah, maybe I'll give it to Elaine.
George: Hey, you know, we haven't brought the Elaine character into the show yet. We should try and get her into this scene.
Jerry: Right, right. Okay. [writes] "Elaine enters." What does she say...?
George: I don't know, what do women say?
Jerry: I don't know.
George: I don't even know what they think. That's why I'm in therapy.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: You are never gonna believe who I just ran into today.
Jerry: Who?
Kramer: Your old flame. Gail Cunningham.
Jerry: Did you talk to her?
Kramer: Well, I was on my way to the Y, and I saw her coming towards me? I didn't know what to do! Because I remembered you had three dates with her and she wouldn't kiss you goodnight. So now I'm thinking, you know, what is my duty to my friend? Do I acknowledge her? Do I ignore her? I mean, what is my responsibility here?
Jerry: So what happened?
Kramer: Yeah, yeah, so she sees me and she goes, [female voice] "Oh, hi! Kramer!" You know? Like nothing happened! Like she never, you know, went three dates with you and refused to kiss you goodnight.
Jerry: Yeah, I know about the three dates.
Kramer: You know what I did? I snubbed her.
Jerry: What do you mean, you snubbed her?
Kramer: I walked right by her... Never said a word.
Jerry: Right by her?
Kramer: Right by her!