Jerry Quote #638

Quote from Jerry in The Visa

[at an outdoor cafe in Pakistan:]
Babu: So his friend got the mail but she did not give it to him. And then he came to visit me. Said the lawyer would call and help. He said the wheels were in motion. But there was no motion. There was nothing. And so they sent me back here.
Babu's Friend: This is a terrible story, Babu. What are you going to do?
Babu: I'm going to save up every rupee. For someday, I will get back to America, and when I do, I will exact vengeance on this man. I cannot forget him. He haunts me. He is a very bad man. He is a very, very bad man.

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 ‘The Visa’ Quotes

Quote from Jerry

Elaine: Look, I was nice enough to pick it up for you
Jerry: Hey, I've been back four days. I want my mail.
Elaine: It's mostly bills, magazines and junk mail anyway.
Jerry: Elaine, that's what mail is. Without bills, magazines and junk mail, there is no mail.

Quote from George

Cheryl: What kind of a friend are you?
George: You see, I convinced him to act like that so that you would think I was funnier. That's how disturbed I am! If you want disturbed? That's disturbed. You can't find sickness like that anywhere. You think sickness like that grows on trees? Nobody is sicker than me. Nobody. He's pretending, I'm the genuine article.
Cheryl: So you're telling me Jerry's whole thing was an act?
George: Yes! And I put him up to it, because I'm sick! I'm the one that needs help.
Cheryl: I gotta go.
George: Well, should I call you later?
Cheryl: Please don't.
George: But- But I'm disturbed! I'm depressed! I'm inadequate! I got it all!

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: What are lawyers, really? To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person that has read the inside of the top of the box. I think one of the fun things for them is to say, "objection." "Objection! Objection, your Honor." Objection, of course, is the adult version of, "afraid not." To which the judge can say two things, he can say, "overruled" which is the adult version of "afraid so," or he could say, "sustained," which is the adult version of "Duh."