Elaine Quote #197
Quote from Elaine in The Opera
Elaine: Oh, dammit. You know, I just remembered I gotta go. I left something on. The gas, the lights, the water in the tub. Something is on somewhere, so I'm just gonna get the, uh..
Joe: Do you know the story of Pagliacci, Nedda?
Elaine: Uh, I'm Elaine!
Joe: He's a clown whose wife is unfaithful to him.
Elaine: Oh.
Joe: Do you think I'm a clown, Nedda?
Elaine: Do I think you're a clown? No, not if it's bad to be a clown. If it's bad to be a clown, then you are definitely not a clown. But if it's good to be a clown then I would, you know, have to rethink the whole thing.
Joe: You've betrayed me with another, haven't you, Nedda? Who is he. I want you to tell me who he is. I want his name. Tell me his name.
Elaine: Oh, like any man would ever look at me, come on, I'm gonna... [Joe blocks the door] get out of here.
Joe: Pagliacci kills his wife.
Elaine: See, now that's terrible. That is not a nice thing to do at all. I don't know how this Paliachi thing turns out. But, you know, I would assume that there is big big trouble for that clown
Joe: You're not leaving.
[Elaine sprays Joe in the eyes. As he falls back, she rushes out of his apartment.]
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Opera’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Jerry: I-I-I don't like the opera. What are they singing for? Who sings? You got something to say, say it!
Kramer: Jerry, you don't understand, that's the way they talk in Italy, they sing to one another. [sings in nonsense Italian]
Jerry: All right, all right.
Kramer: That's the way it was, you know. You listen to the language, it's got that sing-songy quality. It's the language, Jerry. The language.
Jerry: So why don't they talk like that now?
Kramer: Well it's, uh... Well, it's too hard to keep up, you know. They were tired.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I think the idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all the same, so we might as well dress them that way. That's why to me, a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful glowing bride, and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device created by women because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over and she marries the next guy. That's why the wedding vow isn't "Do you take Bill Simpson", its "Do you take this man".
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I had some friends drag me to an opera recently. You know how they've got those little opera glasses, you know. Do you really need binoculars? I mean, how big do these people have to get before you can spot
'em. These opera kids they're going 250, 280, 325. They're wearing big white woolly vests. The women have, like, the breastplates, the bullet hats with the horn coming out. If you can't pick these people out, forget opera, think about optometry. Maybe that's more you're thing.