Kramer Quote #204
Quote from Kramer in The Watch
Kramer: [on the phone] Doctor, uh Reston, is he in? Well, this is Kramer and, uh, he's expecting my call. [sings] Johnny was a rebel. He rode through the land. [talks] Ah, yes, uh, Doctor Reston. Uh, well, hello there. Ah, yeah, well, I'm a good friend of Elaine's...
Elaine: [quietly] No, no. Not friends.
Kramer: Well, actually, uh... We're, uh, we're not friends... Uh, we're, uh, we're much more than friends... And, uh, I'm afraid we have a bit of a problem. Well, the point is, doctor... Uh, I'm very much in love with Elaine... And, uh, she's very much in love with me, and... Uh, well... Uh, we would, uh, appreciate it if you would cease and desist, and allow us to pursue our courtship unfettered. If not, I can assure you, doctor, that I can make things very
unpleasant for you and your staff. If you have one. Yes. Yeah, but the point that I... [listens]Ah, ye... Well, no... Uh, yeah, that's possible... Well, I suppose I could, but I'd have to shift a few things around, uh... Hold on for a second, will you? Uh... [grabs a pad] Uh, go ahead, yeah. [makes a note] All right, uh... Yeah, yeah, okay. I look forward to it too. Oh, okay. So long. [hangs up]
Elaine: What happened? What'd he say? What's going on here?
Kramer: Uh, okay now. He uh, you know, he uh, wants to get together.
Elaine: Get together!?!
Kramer: He wants to talk.
Elaine: Well, why didn't you say no!!
Kramer: Wha...? Uh... That's interesting.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Watch’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: It's an entire industry of bad gifts, aren't they? All those executive gifts. Any stupid, goofy, brass, wood thing, they put a piece of green felt on the bottom. "It's a golf, desk, tie and stress organizer, Dad." But to me, nothing compares with the paperweight as a bad gift. There's no better way than a paperweight to express to someone that, "I refuse to put any thought into this at all." Where are these people working that the papers are just blowing right off of their desks? What, are their desks screwed to the back of a flat-bed truck going down the highway or something? What, are they typing up in the crow's nest of a clipper ship? What do you need a paperweight for?
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: The main difference between the women's wallet and the man's wallet is the photo section. True? Women carry with them a photograph of every person they've ever met, every day in their whole lives, since the beginning of time. And every picture is out of date. You know what I mean? It's, "Here's my cousin, three years old. She's in the marines now." "This is my dog. He died during the Johnson administration." You know. You get stopped by a cop, no licence, no registration. "Here's fifty-six people that know me." Cop goes. "All right, ma'am, just wanted to make sure you had some friends, move it along. Routine pal check."
Quote from Kramer
Elaine: Okay, so he just wants to talk to you. I couldn't talk him out of it. So you just tell him that you're my boyfriend and that we're in love, okay. Can you do that?
Kramer: Yeah, yeah, okay. I'm your boyfriend.
Elaine: Okay.
Kramer: Have we been intimate?
Elaine: Yeah. Yeah, we've been intimate.
Kramer: All right, how often do we do it?
Elaine: Kramer, how is that important? Honestly, do you really think he's gonna ask you that?
Kramer: Elaine, he's a psychiatrist. They're interested in stuff like that.
Elaine: All right, all right. We do it, uh... five times a week, okay?
Kramer: Ooh, baby.