Jerry Quote #418

Quote from Jerry in The Good Samaritan

Jerry: Kirk Douglas. Now there's another very bad driver. But he's such an unbelievable guy, that when he hits someone, he doesn't even leave a note. He sits in his car and waits for the other person to show up so he can
exchange license, registration, and apologize.

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 ‘The Good Samaritan’ Quotes

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: Well, I would say the concept between the car phone, and the phone machine, the speakerphone, the airline phone, portable phone, the pay phone, the cordless phone, the multiline phone, the phone pager, the call waiting, call forwarding, call conferencing, speed dialing, direct dialing, and the redialing, is that we all have absolutely nothing to say, and we've got to talk to someone about it right now. Cannot wait another second. I mean, come on. You're at home, you're on the phone. You're in the car, you're making calls. You get to work, "Any messages for me?" You gotta give people a chance to miss you a little.

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: What does it mean anyway? "God bless you". It's a stupid 'stuperstition'.
Jerry: A stupid what?
Elaine: Whatever.

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: A man is paralyzed, mentally, by a beautiful woman. Advertisers really take advantage of this. Don't you love those ads where you see, like, the woman in the bikini next to the 32-piece ratchet set, you know, and she's... You know, we'll be looking at the girl in the bikini, and looking at the ratchet set going, "All right, well if she's right next to the ratchet set, and I had that ratchet set... I wonder if that would mean that... I better just buy that ratchet set."