Jerry Quote #457
Jerry: When you're moving, your whole world becomes boxes. That's all you think about is boxes. Boxes. Where are there boxes? You just wander down the street going in and out of stores. "Are there boxes here? Have you seen any boxes?" I mean, it's all you think about. You can't even talk to people because you can't concentrate. "Shut up. I'm looking for boxes." Just after a while, you become like really into it you can smell them. You walk into a store. "There's boxes here. Don't tell me you don't have boxes. Dammit, I can smell them!" You become, like, obsessed. "I love the smell of cardboard in the morning." You could be at a funeral. Everyone's mourning crying around, and you're looking at the casket. "That's a nice box. Does anyone know where that guy got that box? When he's done with it, do you think I could get that? it's got some nice handles on it." And that's what death is really. It's the last big move of your life. The hearse is like the van. The pallbearers are your close friends, the only ones you could ask to help you with a big move like that. And the casket is that great perfect box you've been waiting for your whole life. The only problem is, once you find it you're in it.
Quote from George
Mrs. Sokol: So where have you been looking for work?
George: Well, you know what I've discovered, Mrs. Sokol, it's not so much the looking as the listening. I listen for work. And as I'm looking and listening, I am also looking. You can't discount looking. It's sort of a combination. It's looking, and listening, listening and looking. But you must look.
Mrs. Sokol: Can you be specific about any of these companies?
George: Specific. Ah, let's see. I've walked in and out of so many buildings they all blend together. I, uh...
Mrs. Sokol: Well, just give me one name.
George: Absolutely, uh... Lets see... There's, uh, Vandelay Industries. I just saw them. I got very close there. Very close.
Mrs. Sokol: And what type of company is that?
George: Latex. Latex manufacturing, Mrs. Sokol.
Mrs. Sokol: And you interviewed there?
George: Yes, for a sales position. Latex salesman. The selling of latex, and latex-related products. They just wouldn't give me a chance. Damn it!
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: See, to me, going to the health club, you see all these people and they're working out, and they're training and they're getting in shape, but the strange thing is nobody is really getting in shape for anything. The only reason that you're getting in shape is that so you can get through the workout. So we're working out, so that we'll be in shape, for when we have to do our exercise. This is the whole thing. The other thing I don't get about it, is why we're so careful about locking up our dirty towels and smelly jock-straps. What exactly is the black market on these disgusting gym clothes? I'll give my car to any valet guy in front of a restaurant because he has a short red jacket. "Yeah, he must be the valet guy." I don't even think about it, but my stinking, putrefied gym clothes, I got one of these locks you could put a bullet through it and it won't open. That stuff is safe.
Quote from Newman
Jerry: Unfortunately, the immutable laws of physics contradict the whole premise of your account. Allow me to reconstruct this if I may for Miss Benes, as I've heard this story a number of times. Newman, Kramer, if you'll indulge me. According to your story, Hernandez passes you and starts walking up the ramp. Then you say you were struck on the right temple. The spit then proceeds to ricochet off the temple striking Newman between the third and forth rib. The spit then came off the rib, made a right turn, hitting Newman in the right wrist, causing him to drop his baseball cap. The spit then splashed off the wrist, pauses in mid air, mind you, makes a left turn and lands on Newman's left thigh. That is one magic luggie.
Newman: Well, that's the way it happened.