Kramer Quote #127
Quote from Kramer in The Suicide
Kramer: [to the comatose guy] I want my vacuum cleaner! Martin, I know you can hear me. Look my mother, she's going to come and visit me. She sees that rug, she's going to kill me.
Newman: He can't hear you, you idiot. Why don't you just buy another one?
Kramer: Why would I buy another one when I spent a hundred bucks on this one?
Newman: I have a carpet sweeper you can use.
Kramer: I don't want a carpet sweeper. They don't do anything.
Newman: It gets my rug clean.
Kramer: The carpet sweeper is the biggest scam perpetrated on the American public since One Hour Martinizing.
Newman: Well, you should take a look at my rug then.
Kramer: I wouldn't set foot in your house.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Suicide’ Quotes
Quote from George
George: Are there terrorists on the plane? A hotel fire. Is that it? Malaria? Yellow fever? Lupus? Is it Lupus?
Quote from Jerry
George: Hey, I'm all set. I got the ticket. I'm going to the Cayman Islands this Friday.
Jerry: I don't get you. Who goes on vacation without a job? What do you need a break from getting up at eleven?
George: It's an incredible deal. I don't know why you don't come with me.
Jerry: I don't go for these non-refundable deals. I can't commit to a woman. I'm not going to commit to an airline.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I'm going to get a physical examination. To me, that urine sample, giving them that is always a pleasure, isn't it? Then there's always the amount question. I don't know what you need. I gave you whatever I have there. That's... I've got more. Whatever you need. I could get more. Just let me know what you need. It's no problem. But, I mean, any kind of physical test, I always click into this thing where I want to do really well, you know. If there's going to be a physical test, I want to do well. Remember, when you were in school, they'd do those hearing tests. And you'd really be listening, you know... Trying to be really... Trying to do well. I want to do well, you know. I wanted to do unbelievable on the hearing test. I wanted them to come to me after the test and go: "We think you may have something close to super hearing. What you heard was a cotton ball touching a piece of felt. We're sending the results to Washington. We'd like you to meet the President."