Kramer Quote #1131

Quote from Kramer in The Subway

Kramer: Oh yeah, it's all set. They got the bug boy on it.
Man: The bug boy?
Kramer: Yeah, the little fella's been riding his heart out. They're gonna break his maiden.
Man: Really? But, it's a little bit slow out there. It rained last night.
Kramer: Oh, this baby loves the slop. Loves it, eats it up. Eats the slop. Born in the slop. His father was a mudder.
Man: His father was a mudder?
Kramer: His mother was a mudder.
Man: His mother was a mudder?
Kramer: What did I just say?

Rate

 ‘The Subway’ Quotes

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: When I was a kid, my favorite ride was the bumper car ride. Remember that ride? You'd go around in a circle. There was always one kid on the bumper cars who could not do it. Do you remember this kid? As soon as the ride got started, he'd be, like, stuck in a pack of empty cars. Just... [mimics waving, honking horn] "Excuse me! Excuse me! It won't go! Come on! It's almost over." He always ends up with the attendant hanging off that big pole helping him steer it, you know. "Stop crying. [scoffs]" And then there's always that other one bad car, the helpless father-and-son team. This another car just not going anywhere. They're never organized. Who's on the wheel? Who's pressing on the gas? They're just... [spins around] "Son, turn the wheel."

Quote from Elaine

Elaine: [inner monologue] Oh, this is great. This is what I need, just what I need. Ok, take it easy I'm sure it's nothing. Probably rats on the track, we're stopping for rats. God, it's so crowded. How can there be so many people? This guy really smells, doesn't anyone use deodorant in the city? What is so hard, you take the cap off, you roll it on. What's that? I feel something rubbing against me. Disgusting animals, these people should be in a cage. We are in a cage. What if I miss the wedding? I got the ring. What will they do? You can't get married without the ring. Oh, I can't breath, I feel faint. Okay, take it easy. It will start moving soon. Think about the people on the concentration camps, what they went through. And hostages, what would you do if you were a hostage? Think about that. This is nothing. No, it's not nothing, it's something. It's a nightmare! Help me! Move it! Come on, move this [bleep] thing! Why isn't it moving?!? What can go wrong with a train!?! It's on tracks, there's no traffic! How can a train get stuck?. Step on the gas! What could it be? You'd think the conductor would explain it to us? "I'm sorry there's a delay we'll be moving in 5 minutes." I wanna hear a voice. What's that on my leg?!

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: All right, Coney Island? Okay, you can take the B or the F and switch for the N at Broadway Lafayette, or you can go over the bridge to DeKalb and catch the Q to Atlantic Avenue, then switch to the IRT 2, 3, 4 or 5, but don't get on the G. See that's very tempting, but you wind up on Smith and 9th street, then you got to get on the R.
Elaine: Couldn't he just take the D straight to Coney Island?
Kramer: Well, yeah...
Elaine: Okay.

 Cosmo Kramer Quotes

Quote from The Package

Jerry: So we're going to make the post office pay for my new stereo?
Kramer: It's a write-off for them.
Jerry: How is it a write-off?
Kramer: They just write it off.
Jerry: Write it off what?
Kramer: Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything.
Jerry: You don't even know what a write-off is.
Kramer: Do you?
Jerry: No. I don't.
Kramer: But they do. And they're the ones writing it off.

Quote from The Pool Guy

Kramer: [answers phone] Hello, and welcome to Moviefone. Brought to you by The New York Times and Hot 97. Coming to theaters this Friday: Kevin Bacon, Susan Sarandon, "You've got to get me over that mountain!" "No!" [bang, bang] "Argh" There is no place higher than... Mountain High. Rated R. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, press 1.
Elaine: Kramer, is that you?
Kramer: Elaine?
Elaine: Uh, what time does Chow Fun start?
Kramer: I don't know.

Quote from The Yada Yada

Jerry: So you won't believe what happened with Whatley today. It got back to him that I made this little dentist joke and he got all offended. Those people can be so touchy.
Kramer: Those people? Listen to yourself.
Jerry: What?
Kramer: You think that dentists are so different from me and you? They came to this country just like everybody else in search of a dream.
Jerry: Whatley's from Jersey.
Kramer: Yes, and now he's a full-fledged American.
Jerry: Kramer, he's just a dentist.
Kramer: Yeah, and you're an anti-dentite.
Jerry: I am not an anti-dentite!
Kramer: You're a rabid anti-dentite! Oh, it starts with a few jokes and some slurs. "Hey, denty!" Next thing you know, you're saying they should have their own schools.
Jerry: They do have their own schools!
Kramer: Yeah!