George Quote #224
Quote from George in The Nose Job
George: You won't think I'm a bad person?
Jerry: Too late for that.
George: 'Cause believe me, I would only say this to you and maybe a psychiatrist, maybe. Well, her nose is a little big.
Jerry: Yeah, she's got a big nose.
George: I mean, big would even be okay. It's a little beyond big.
Jerry: It's a schnoz.
George: Now, I'm aware that my own physical dimensions are perhaps a little short of perfection.
Jerry: A little.
George: So who am I to be thinking about someone's nose? I mean, I should be grateful someone like her even looks at me. I have no job, nothing. But I have to say, I think about the nose. I don't want to think about the nose. I don't ask to think about the nose, but I think about it. I go to bed at night, I tell myself, "Don't think about the nose, forget the nose," but I think about it. I look at her, I see nose.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Nose Job’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Can you give me an explanation as to why the pharmacist has to be two-and-a-half feet up above everybody else? What the hell is he doing, he can't be down there on the floor with you and me? Brain surgeons, airline pilots, nuclear physicists, we're all on the same level. Oh no, he's gotta be two-and-a-half
feet up. "Look out, everybody, I'm working with pills. Spread out, give me some room." The only hard part of his whole job that I could see is typing everything onto that little tiny label. He has to try and get all the words on there, keep the paper in the... It's a little piece of paper, in the roller of the typewriter. Oh no, he's gotta be two-and-a-half feet up. "Yeah, I'd like to get this prescription filled." "All right. You wait down there. Only I'm allowed up here."
Quote from George
Jerry: Isabel? She is the most despicable woman I have ever met in my life. I have never been so repulsed by someone mentally and so attracted to them physically at the same time. It's like my brain is facing my penis in a chess game. And I'm letting him win.
George: You're not letting him win, he wins till you're forty.
Jerry: Then what?
George: He still wins but it's not a blowout.
Quote from Kramer
Landlord: Hello?
Elaine: Oh, uh, hi. I'm Wanda Pepper, I'm Albert Pepper's daughter. My father asked me to come here and pick up his jacket for him.
Landlord: Oh, hello, Miss Pepper. It's a pleasure to meet you. And you must be Professor Van Nostrand?
Kramer: Yes. Yes, I am.
Landlord: I've read your book, Professor, and I was quite intrigued by it.
Kramer: Uh, yes. Well, it's, uh, very intriguing.
Landlord: Tell me, is it your contention that Shakespeare was an imposter?
Kramer: My contention?
Landlord: Yes, your contention.
Kramer: Yes, that's my contention.
Elaine: I heard him contend that.