Jerry Quote #242

Quote from Jerry in The Pen

Helen Seinfeld: Jerry, do your act.
Jerry: I can't. Nobody's even listening.
Helen Seinfeld: They're all gonna leave.
Jerry: Oh God! [over microphone] Hey! How you folks doing tonight? [loud chatter]
Man: Who are you?
Jerry: Have you ever noticed how they always give you the peanuts on the planes?
Woman: Not my Harry. He flies first class.
Jerry: Who ever thought the first thing somebody wants on a plane is a peanut?
Man: I'd rather have a bottle of scotch!
Helen Seinfeld: Do the dog routine.
Jerry: All I said was I liked the pen!
Elaine: [shouts as Brando] Stella!

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 ‘The Pen’ Quotes

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: Is Florida not hot and muggy enough for these people? They love heat. I mean, if they ever decide to land men on the sun, I think these old retired guys would be the only ones that will be able to handle it. They'll just sit there on the sun, on the redwood benches, washcloth on the head going: "I'm trying to get a sweat going."

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: What is going on in this community! Are you people aware of what's happening? What is driving you to this behavior? Is it the humidity? Is it the Muzak? Is it the white shoes?

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: I have never seen an old person in a new bathing suit in my life. I don't know where they get their bathing suits, but my father has bathing suits from other centuries. My parents live in Florida. And if you go down there and you forget your bathing suits, then they want you to wear one of theirs. You know how that gets? "You need trunks, son? I've got trunks for you. You can wear my trunks." Fathers don't wear bathing suits, they wear trunks. It's kind of the same thing a tree would wear if it went swimming. So I get in the water with in thing and it's like floating around me somewhere. Did you ever put on a bathing suit that you don't even know exactly where you are inside the bathing suit? You bump into somebody you know: "No, I'm parasailing, I'm waiting for the boat to come back."