Kramer Quote #29
Quote from Kramer in The Apartment
Kramer: Hey, my new neighbor!
Elaine: I'm not moving in.
Kramer: What?
Elaine: They want five thousand dollars now.
Kramer: So, okay. What's the problem?
Elaine: I don't have five thousand dollars.
Kramer: Come on, you can come up with five thousand dollars. Jerry, you don't have five thousand dollars you can led her? Come on.
Jerry: Yeah, well, I didn't... Is that something you want to borrow?
Elaine: No, that's too much money to borrow.
Kramer: Loan her the money. You can afford it.
Jerry: She doesn't want to borrow the money.
Kramer: Oh, come on. She'll pay you back. What's five grand between friends?
Elaine: Of course I'd pay you back..
Kramer: Yeah, so what's the problem?
Jerry: Who said there's a problem?
Kramer: He said he'd loan you the money.
Elaine: Well Jerry, it might take a while for me to pay you back. Maybe a few years. How do you feel about that?
Kramer: That's okay. He doesn't care.
Elaine: You know, money can sometimes come between friends.
Kramer: Get outta here.
Elaine: Let me think about it.
Kramer: What's to think about?
Elaine: Well, I don't know... I don't know. Five thousand... Let me just take one more look at it.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Apartment’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
Kramer: Oh, look, maybe she won't take it. I mean, she did say that she was going to think about it.
Jerry: People don't turn down money! It's what separates us from the animals.
Kramer: I still don't understand what the problem is having her in the building.
Jerry: Let me explain something to you. You see, you're not normal. You're a great guy, I love you, but you're a pod. I, on the other hand, am a human being. I sometimes feel awkward, uncomfortable, even inhibited in certain situations with the other human beings. You wouldn't understand.
Kramer: Because I'm a pod?
Quote from George
Jerry: All right, this is going to require some great acting now. I have to pretend I'm disappointed. You're going to really see me being a phony, now. I hope you can take this. Maybe you should go in the other room.
George: Are you kidding?! I lie ever second of the day. My whole life is a sham!
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Well, I painted my apartment again. I've been living in this apartment for years and years, and every time I paint it, it kinda gets me down. I look around, and I think, well, it's a little bit smaller now. You know, I realize it's just the thickness of the paint, but I'm aware of it. It keeps coming in and coming in. Every time I paint it, it's closer and closer. I don't even know where the wall outlets are anymore. I just look for like a lump with two slots in it. Kinda looks like a pig is trying to push his way through from the other side. That's where I plug in. My idea of the perfect living room would be the bridge on the Starship Enterprise. You know what I mean? Big chair, nice screen, remote control. That's why Star Trek really was the ultimate male fantasy. Just hurling through space in your living room, watching TV. That's why all the aliens were always dropping in, because Kirk was the only one that had a big screen. They came over Friday night. It's Klingon boxing, gotta be there.