Jerry Quote #68
Quote from Jerry in The Stock Tip
Jerry: Excuse me, sir, could I have a look at that business section?
Vanessa: That stock? I thought you got out of that?
Jerry: I did. I'm just curious. It's been almost a week. I want to check it out. Six points? It's up six points!
Vanessa: I told you not to sell.
Jerry: You did not tell me not to sell.
Vanessa: I said, the market fluctuates. Remember?
Jerry: Look, Vanessa, of course the market fluctuates. Everybody knows that. I just got fluctuated out of four thousand dollars!
Vanessa: That's probably why we're-
Jerry: What?
Vanessa: Forget it.
Jerry: No, what? 'That's probably why..'
Vanessa: That's probably why we're staying here, because you lost money on the stock.
Jerry: [inner monologue] So, what am I looking at here? Twenty-nine hours to go. Well, at least I got plenty of time to find out the name of that perfume.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Stock Tip’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: You know, I can't believe you put your money in that Centrax. And you could've invested in my roll-out tie dispenser.
Jerry: Roll-out tie dispenser? What was that one?
Kramer: Okay, you're in a restaurant. You've got a very big meeting coming up.
Jerry: Okay.
Kramer: "Oh, man". You got mustard on your tie.
Jerry: Oh, no!
Kramer: You just... tear it off, and you got a new one right here. Then you're gone.
Jerry: You're gone, all right.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: I think Superman probably has a very good sense of humor.
George: I never heard him say anything really funny.
Jerry: But it's common sense. He's got super strength, super speed. I'm sure he's got super humor.
George: You would think that, but either you're born with a sense of humor, or you're not. It's not going to change even if you go from the red sun of Krypton all the way to the yellow sun of the Earth.
Jerry: Why? Why would that one area of his mind not be affected by the yellow sun of Earth?
George: I don't know. But he ain't funny.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I'm not an investor. People always tell me, you should have your money working for you. I've decided I'll do the work. I'm gonna let the money relax. You know what I mean? 'Cause you send your money out there working for you, a lot of times, it gets fired. You go back there, "What happened? I had my money. It was here, it was working for me." "Yeah, I remember your money. Showing up late. Taking time off. We had to let him go."