Newman Quote #99

Quote from Newman in The Andrea Doria

Jerry: Newman?
Newman: I guess.
Jerry: Listen, I want you to get the mail out of my storage unit.
Newman: Sometimes we don't get what we want.
Jerry: What are you talking about?
Newman: I didn't get my transfer.
Jerry: Transfer?
Newman: To Hawaii. The most sought-after postal route of them all. The air is so dewy-sweet you don't even have to like the stamps.. But it's not to be. So, I'm hanging it up.
Jerry: You quit the post office?
Newman: Kind of. I'm still collecting checks, I'm just not delivering mail.
Jerry: Well, get it out of my storage. It's illegal.
Newman: And yet, it's perfectly legal to take a man's soul and crush it out like a stale Pall Mall.
Jerry: Well, the law's a law.

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 ‘The Andrea Doria’ Quotes

Quote from Elaine

George: The tenant association made me give it to this guy because he was an Andrea Doria survivor.
Elaine: Andrea Doria? Isn't that the one they did the song about?
Jerry: Edmund Fitzgerald.
Elaine: I love Edmund Fitzgerald's voice.
Jerry: No, Gordon Lightfoot was the singer. Edmund Fitzgerald was the ship.
George: You could fit 15 people in that bathroom..
Elaine: I think Gordon Lightfoot was the boat.
Jerry: Yeah, and it was rammed by the Cat Stevens.

Quote from George

George: I was handcuffed to the bed in my underwear, where I remained... [cut] She certainly seemed interested in me. Though she was attractive, she was also, in fact, a Nazi... [cut] The water that I had been swimming in was very cold. And, when I dropped the towel, there had been significant shrinkage... [cut] Her parents were looking at me. So, there I was, with a marble rye hanging from the end of a fishing pole... [cut] In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man. Thank you. [gets up] Oh, also, my fiance died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out. [The board members sob and cry] Thanks again. [walks out]

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: [coughs repeatedly]
Jerry: What is with that?!
Kramer: Well, it's coughing, Jerry. It expells the diseased germs out of the body into the air.