Kramer Quote #747

Quote from Kramer in The Wait Out

Kramer: Jerry, you gotta help me.
Jerry: What's wrong?
Kramer: I can't get my pants off, and Mickey's audition is in 20 minutes. I'm supposed to be a businessman. I gotta be in costume.
Jerry: All right. Undo them, I'll help you get them off.
Kramer: I already did, and it won't come off.
Jerry: You just gotta wiggle your hips.
Kramer: Pull down.
Jerry: All right. All right. That's no good. Let me try getting them from the bottom. Just give me....
Kramer: Wait. Jerry, wait a minute.
Jerry: Man, these are tight. Squinch your hips in.
Kramer: I am squinching my hips.
Jerry: Keep squinching them. All right, that's not gonna work. That's not gonna work. Let me just think for a second here.
Kramer: You better get me. Get me up, get me up.
Jerry: Hold it, hold it, hold it. Look, you're gonna need the Jaws of Life to get out of those things.
Kramer: Look, I don't have time. I'm gonna be late.

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 ‘The Wait Out’ Quotes

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Look at this, Mickey. These pants are falling apart.
Jerry: You know, when I met you, Kramer, you used to wear jeans all the time.
Kramer: Yeah, well, I was a different man then.
Jerry: With a different body.
Kramer: Hey, I got the body of a taut, preteen Swedish boy.
Jerry: I don't know.
Kramer: Now, what are you thinking? You think that I'm not able to wear jeans anymore? Is that what you're saying? Because if that's what you're saying, Jerry, I'll go and I'll buy some jeans. I swear to God, I will. Don't think I won't, Jerry. [Jerry nods silently] All right. That's it.

Quote from Elaine

Jerry: But we gotta make it seem like we're not calling for dates.
Elaine: Then why are we calling?
Jerry: Good question. Why are we calling?
Elaine: Why are we calling?
Jerry: Calling, calling, calling.
Elaine: Why are we calling? Why do we call? I got it. I've got it. We're calling just to say; "I'm there for you."
Jerry: I'm there for you.
Elaine: Then, after a period of being there for you, we slowly remove the two words "for you"... and we're just there.

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: The whole concept of being separated, to me, is strange. It's like you're engaged to be divorced. "We're gonna try and make not being together work. First we were separated, then we met, then we were together. Now we're gonna try being separated again. We think actually some sort of giant rubber band might be the solution." Of course, when you were a kid in school, you'd get separated for having too good a time. "If you two kids don't stop laughing and having fun, I'm gonna have to separate you." Then the kid finds out his parents are breaking up, thinks it's because they got caught fooling around, which is probably true.