George Quote #1069
Quote from George in The Maestro
George: Let me ask you something. When you go into a store, does it bother you that they make the security guard just stand there all day?
Jerry: No.
George: See, it didn't bother Susan either. That's why I'm different. I can sense the slightest human suffering.
Jerry: Are you sensing anything right now?
George: Let me just say this. It is inhumane to make a man stand on his feet in one spot for eight hours a day. Why shouldn't he have a chair?
Jerry: Well, what about criminal activity? He's got to be alert.
George: What, he can't jump out of the chair? How long does that take? Here look at this. [moves to the end of the booth] Here, watch. [stands up] Criminals. Boom. I'm up. Stop It! Stop It! Stop It!
Jerry: Maybe they offered him a chair and he turned it down.
George: Would you get out of here. Who's gonna turn down a chair? I would be very interested to know how he felt about all of this. Maybe I'll have a talk with him.
Jerry: I know you will.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Maestro’ Quotes
Quote from Jackie Chiles
Kramer: Well, you know, they don't allow outside drinks in the movie theater. So I had to put it in my shirt and sneak it in.
Jackie Chiles: Yeah, see, they like to sell their own coffee.
Kramer: Yeah, now is that going to be a problem?
Jackie Chiles: Yeah, that's going to be a problem. It's gonna be a problem for them. This a clear violation of your rights as a consumer. It's an infringement on your constitutional rights. It's outrageous, egregious, preposterous.
Kramer: It's definitely preposterous.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I've never been any place in my life where there was absolutely no coffee. And people are constantly trying to give you coffee. "Who's having coffee? Can I get you some coffee?" Coffee's one of the only things you can have that people continue to try and give it to you. Waitresses are constantly coming over, "Can I warn it up for you? Can I top it off?" It's like, you could lift up a manhole cover: "We just made a fresh pot, would you like some?" This liquid has taken over humanity. There are coffee machines we have to call "mister". "Coffee anyone?" "Hey, that's Mr. Coffee to you."
Quote from Jackie Chiles
Jackie Chiles: You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn't tell you to put the balm on. Why'd you put the balm on? You haven't even been to see the doctor. If you're gonna put a balm on, let a doctor put a balm on.
Kramer: I guess I screwed up, Jackie?
Jackie Chiles: You're damn right you screwed up. Where the hell did you get that damn balm from anyway?
Kramer: The Maestro.
Jackie Chiles: The who? What are you talking about, Maestro?
Kramer: My friend. He's a conductor.
Jackie Chiles: Oh, oh. So a Maestro tells you to put a balm on and you do it?
Kramer: Well my stomach was burning.
Jackie Chiles: I tell you what this is. This is a public humiliation.
Kramer: Well, I didn't know the balm was gonna work.
Jackie Chiles: Do you know what a balm is? Have you ever seen a balm? Didn't you read the instructions?
Kramer: Well I ...
Jackie Chiles: [interrupts] No one can tell what a balm's gonna do. They're unpredictable.