Jerry Quote #1210
Quote from Jerry in The Diplomat's Club
Katie: It's a pretty full house. The lighting guy's name is Lew. He's got a birthday next week.
Jerry: I don't care.
Katie: By the way, Jerry, I don't want you to freak out, but the pilot is going to be in the audience.
Jerry: Who?
Katie: Remember the plane we took here? The pilot is going to be sitting out there watching the show.
Jerry: I don't care. Why are you telling me this?
Katie: I just didn't want you to freak out when you saw him.
Jerry: Why would I freak out? [to himself] Pilot?!
Man: [o.s.] Ladies and gentlemen, a big hand for Mr. Jerry Seinfeld!
Jerry: Hey, all right. Good afternoon, Ithaca. Welcome. Good to see you here. Boy, I'll tell you, there's an awful lot of those orange cones you have on the throughway... [sees the pilot] on the way... up here... Um... I... I... Um...
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Diplomat's Club’ Quotes
Quote from Newman
Newman: Okay, here it is.
Kramer: Good. (To Earl) Here's my collateral.
Earl: So it's a mailbag. So what?
Newman: So what? Do you know whose mailbag that is?
Earl: "David Berkowitz."
Newman: Son of Sam. The worst mass murderer the post office ever produced.
Earl: Where did you get this?
Newman: I took over his route. And boy, were there a lot of dogs on that route.
Earl: Any of them talking to you?
Newman: Just to tell me to keep off the snacks! [all laugh]
Earl: [to Kramer] Your buddy's a hell of a guy.
Kramer: Yeah, don't I know it.
Quote from George
Jerry: Maybe he looks a little like Sugar Ray Leonard.
George: A little? Come on.
Jerry: Well, you still shouldn't have said it.
George: You think Morgan thinks I have a racial bias?
Jerry: Maybe.
George: Boy, that is so unfair. I would've marched on Selma if it was in Long Island.
Jerry: So you would have marched on Great Neck?
George: Absolutely. I still might. I always hated those girls. They would never date me.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: How about the little scam the airlines have going now with these special clubs? $150 a year to sit in a room, eat peanuts, drink coffee and soda, and read magazines. Excuse me, but isn't this the flight? I already got four hours of this coming to me. What am I paying for? How about an "I got all my luggage club"? Can I get into that club? Where is that club? I would like to join that club. Airlines love to divide us into classes. You know, like when you're sitting in coach, the stewardess always closes that stupid curtain. Always gives you that look, like, "Maybe if you would work a little harder..."