Jerry Quote #907
Quote from Jerry in The Marine Biologist
Corinne: So I am walking along, minding my own business when all off the sudden this thing come flying out off no were and clonks me right on the head.
Jerry: Huh.
Corinne: Yeah, so they took me to the hospital. And they put me in this thing that fells like a coffin for forty-five minutes. Have you ever been in one of those things? You could go berserk in there!
Jerry: Well, you have insurance...
Corinne: I wish!
Jerry: Unbelievable!
Corinne: Yeah. [organizer beeps]
Jerry: What is with this thing?
Corinne: I don't know. It never shuts up. So anyway, you can see why I would be interested in finding this person.
Jerry: Absolutely. You should not have to pay for that. [organizer beeps again]
Corinne: [shouts] Stop it! Stop it!
Jerry: Let me have a look at this thing.
Corinne: You know, somebody told me they thought they saw it coming out of a limousine.
Jerry: Typical rich people using the world for their personal garbage can.
Corinne: Boy, am I lucky your name came up. I just pushed a button.
Jerry: I would like to know what my name is doing in this creep's organizer to begin with.
Corinne: Yeah.
Jerry: Who do I even know that would have been in a limousine yesterday? Oh... Oh... Oh.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Marine Biologist’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
Elaine: Oh, don't you know what this means? It's like working with Tolstoy.
Jerry: Hey, you know what, I read the most unbelievable thing about Tolstoy the other day. Did you know the original title for "War and Peace" was "War - What Is It Good For?"!
Elaine: Ha ha.
Jerry: No, no. I'm not kidding, Elaine. It's true. His mistress didn't like the title and insisted that he change it to "War and Peace"!
Elaine: But it's a line from that song.
Jerry: That's where they got it from.
Quote from Elaine
Mr. Lippman: You know, Tolstoy use to write in the village square. The faces inspired him.
Testikov: He did not need any inspiration. God spoke through his pen.
Elaine: Oh, that is so true! Although, one wonders if "War and Peace" would has been as highly acclaimed as it was had it been published under its original title, "War - What Is It Good For?"
Mr. Lippman: What?
Elaine: Yes. Mr. Lippman, it was his mistress who insisted he called it "War and Peace."
Mr. Lippman: Elaine.
Elaine: "War - What Is It Good For." [sings] Absolutely nothin'! Ho! Say it again. [to Testikov] It's a song. They got that from Tolstoy.
Quote from George
George: So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified! But I pressed on. And as I made my way past the breakers, a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things but I tell you, Jerry, at that moment, I was a marine biologist!
Elaine: George, I was just reading this thing in the papers, it's amazing!
George: I know. I was just telling them the story.
Kramer: Come on, George, finish the story.
George: The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to return soup at a deli! I got about fifty-feet out and then suddenly the great beast appeared before me. I tell you, he was ten stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence he let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing I could see directly into the eye of the great fish!
Jerry: Mammal.
George: Whatever.
Kramer: Well, what did you do next?
George: Well, then, from out of nowhere a huge tidal wave lifted, tossed like a cork and I found myself on top of him face to face with the blow-hole. I could barely see from the waves crashing down upon me but I knew something was there. So I reached my hand in, felt around and pulled out the obstruction!
[George pulls out a golf ball. Jerry and George stare at Kramer.]
Kramer: What is that a Titleist? A hole in one, huh?