Kramer Quote #224
Quote from Kramer in The Opera
Kramer: I got two. I got two. Paliachi, who needs two? Pagliacci, come on, the great tragic clown. Come on, check it out. He laughs, he cries, he sings, Pagliacci. Hey, I got two beauties right here, check it out, all
right.
Man: Hey, hey.Are you selling.
Kramer: Oh yeah, I'm selling.
Man: Where are they?
Kramer: Orchestra, Row G, dead center, primo! You'll think you died and went to heaven.
Man: What do you want for them.
Kramer: All right, I'll tell you what I'll do. Cause you look like a nice guy, a thousand dollars for the deuce.
Man: I'll give you five hundred for the pair.
George: Yeah, it's a deal!
Kramer: Pfft. No.
George: No? Are you crazy?
Kramer: Look, let me handle this.
George: Five hundred dollars, that's a great deal!
Kramer: You're blowing this. The guy's a pigeon. [The man walks away]
George: Did you see that? The guy's walking away. What is wrong with you? That was a three hundred dollar profit.
Kramer: Look, I know what I'm doing here, George.
George: This is not a Metallica concert. It's an opera, all right. A little dignity, a little class. Just give me my ticket, I will stand over here and sell it.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Opera’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Jerry: I-I-I don't like the opera. What are they singing for? Who sings? You got something to say, say it!
Kramer: Jerry, you don't understand, that's the way they talk in Italy, they sing to one another. [sings in nonsense Italian]
Jerry: All right, all right.
Kramer: That's the way it was, you know. You listen to the language, it's got that sing-songy quality. It's the language, Jerry. The language.
Jerry: So why don't they talk like that now?
Kramer: Well it's, uh... Well, it's too hard to keep up, you know. They were tired.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I think the idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all the same, so we might as well dress them that way. That's why to me, a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful glowing bride, and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device created by women because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over and she marries the next guy. That's why the wedding vow isn't "Do you take Bill Simpson", its "Do you take this man".
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I had some friends drag me to an opera recently. You know how they've got those little opera glasses, you know. Do you really need binoculars? I mean, how big do these people have to get before you can spot
'em. These opera kids they're going 250, 280, 325. They're wearing big white woolly vests. The women have, like, the breastplates, the bullet hats with the horn coming out. If you can't pick these people out, forget opera, think about optometry. Maybe that's more you're thing.