Jerry Quote #544
Quote from Jerry in The Cheever Letters
Jerry: Right after we get off the phone, then you go and tell her that?! Well, of course she knows it was me who complained! Now I'm responsible for this woman's quitting. Oh, this is unbelievable!
Elaine: I know! I screwed up. It's all my fault. Would you call her?
Jerry: Oh, dial the number. How could you do this?
Elaine: I was just trying to help you.
Jerry: Oh, just trying to help me. [on the phone] Hello? Sandra? Hi, uh, this is Jerry Seinfeld. Listen, I- I just want to tell you, there's been a terrible misunderstanding. See, I told Elaine that, uh, it was a real treat talking to you on the phone, and she thought I was being sarcastic, you know, 'cause I'm a comedian and all. She thought I meant "Yeah, it was a real treat talking to her on the phone.", you know. But I was really being sincere. No, of course I like you. Tonight? Um, uh, hold on a second. [whispers to Elaine] Now she wants to have a drink with me. [Elaine mouths "Just go.", Jerry mumbles] Yeah, I think I can. Um, yeah, I know where that is. Okay, uh, I'll see you there. Okay, bye. [hangs up] Now I gotta have a drink with her.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Cheever Letters’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: There's this whole talking during sex business. I mean, what are we doing here? The question is... Does the talking really improve the sex, or is the sex act now just there to spice up the conversation? Of course, eventually, I'm sure people will get too tired, too lazy, even for phone sex. They'll start having phone machine sex, you know. "Yeah, I want you really bad. Just leave it on the tape." And then I guess the phone company will come out with sex waiting. I guess that will be the new thing. "Yeah, hold on, honey. I've got another call." "Oh, hi, baby. One second." "Honey, I've got to take this. Yeah, I've got sex waiting on the other line and I've got to take this."
Quote from George
Mrs. Ross: Doesn't George look like your sister, Sarah?
Mr. Ross: A slight resemblance.
Mrs. Ross: Her son's a podiatrist, you know.
George: Oh, I have tremendous respect for people who work with feet. I mean, to dedicate yourself to the foot. You're toiling in virtual anonymity. I mean...
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I don't think people think of their office as a workplace. I think people think of it as a stationery store with Danish. You know what I mean? You wanna get your pastry, your envelopes, your supplies, your toilet paper, six cups of coffee, and you go home. Why do people who work in offices have pictures of their family on their desk facing them? Do they forget that they're married? Do they go, "All right, 5:00. Time to hit the bars and pick up some hookers. Hold it a second, I got a wife and three kids. I better get home. I completely forgot."