Kramer Quote #186
Quote from Kramer in The Trip: Part 2
Kramer: I didn't kill anyone, I swear! I swear to God!
Lt. Martel: Don't you ever swear to my God, Kramer. My God is the god who protects the innocent and punishes the evil scum like you. Have you got that?
Kramer: You're making a big mistake.
Lt. Martel: No! You have made the mistake, Kramer. Sickies like you always do. The only difference is that this time you're gonna pay.
Kramer: What?
Lt. Martel: Now, you might beat the gas chamber Kramer, but as long as I have got a breath in my body you will never ever see the light of day again.
Kramer: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You've got the wrong man! It wasn't me!
Lt. Martel: Oh yeah, right. Maybe it was one of your other personalities huh, the wise guy, the little kid, the bellhop, the ball player, maybe the door to door vacuum cleaner salesman, but not you right? No, you wouldn't hurt a fly. You just couldn't help yourself, could you Kramer? You saw life brimming brightly with optimism and verve and you just had to snuff it out.
Kramer: Okay, can I just talk to somebody? Can I just explain...
Lt. Martel: I'm not interested in your explanations, Kramer! Sure, I bet you've got a million of 'em. Maybe your mother didn't love you enough. Maybe the teacher didn't call on you in school when you had your little hand raise. Maybe the pervert in the park had a present in his pants, huh? Well, I've got another theory, Kramer, you're a weed.
Kramer: No...
Lt. Martel: Society is filled with them. They're choking the life out of the all pretty flowers. [Kramer sobs] You see something even remotely pretty and you have to choke the life out if it, don't you Kramer? [Kramer cries] You killed all the pretty flowers, didn't you Kramer? You killed the pretty little flowers, didn't you? You dirty, filthy, stinky weed! Didn't you?
Officer: [answers phone] Lieutenant, it's for you.
Lt. Martel: [takes phone] Martel. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Officer: What it is, Lieutenant?
Lt. Martel: Let him go.
Officer: What, but Lieutenant?
Lt. Martel: You heard me, let him go. They just found another body at the Laurel Canyon. Go on Kramer, get out of my sight.
Kramer: Hey, how did you know about the guy in the park?
Lt. Martel: I said beat it!
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Trip: Part 2’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: The thing about L.A. to me, that kind of threw me, was when they have these smog alerts out there and they actually recommend that people stay indoors during the smog alert. Now, maybe I'm way off... But don't you think, wouldn't you assume, that the air in the house pretty much comes from the air in the city where the house is? I mean what do they think, that we live in a jar with couple of holes punched in the top? What the hell is going on out there? It's very strange. I mean, you realize that it's now possible for parents to say to their children, "All right kids, I want you in the house and get some fresh air! Summer vacation, everybody indoors."
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: There are many different job in the police. It seems to me, that the chalk outline guy is one of the better jobs that you can get. You know, it's not too dangerous, the criminals are long gone. That seems like a good one. I don't know who they are, I guess they're people who wanted to be a sketch artists, but they couldn't draw too well. "Listen, Johnson, forget the sketches. Do you think if we left a dead body right there on the sidewalk, you could manage to trace around it? Could you do that?" I don't even know how that helps them to solve the crime? You know, they look at the thing on the ground. "Ah, his arm was like that when he hit the pavement. That means the killer must've been Jim."
Quote from George
George: Do you think she gets to take any of those little bars of soap home?
Jerry: No, I don't.
George: You would think that at the end of the week when they hand out the checks, throw in a few soaps.
Jerry: Yeah, maybe they should throw in a couple of lamps too.
George: I'll tell you something, if I owned a company, my employees would love me. They'd have huge pictures of me up on the walls and in their home, like Lenin.
Jerry: How much did you wound up tipping her?
George: Oh, my God, I forgot!
Jerry: That's why communism didn't work.