Kramer Quote #128

Quote from Kramer in The Suicide

George: So how was it?
Kramer: George, I would like to thank you for the greatest four days I ever spent in my life. They were shooting the Sports Illustrated swim suit issue right in the hotel pool.
Jerry: Whoa. [hits George]
Kramer: Not only that, but at the hotel they opened up this area on the beach for nude bathing and all of the Sports Illustrated models went down there.
Jerry: Wow! [hits George]
Kramer: I was on the next blanket from Elle McPherson.
Jerry: Oh! [hits George]
Kramer: We played Backgammon in the nude.
Jerry: Oh! [hits George]
Kramer: She's a sweet kid.
Jerry: Nude backgammon with swimsuit models! [hits George]
Kramer: Oh, you know what? The second day I was there, I stepped on a jellyfish. Now, it kind of stung my foot. That's probably what Rula was trying to warn you about.
George: Yeah, you gotta watch for the jellyfish.

Rate

 ‘The Suicide’ Quotes

Quote from George

George: Are there terrorists on the plane? A hotel fire. Is that it? Malaria? Yellow fever? Lupus? Is it Lupus?

Quote from Jerry

George: Hey, I'm all set. I got the ticket. I'm going to the Cayman Islands this Friday.
Jerry: I don't get you. Who goes on vacation without a job? What do you need a break from getting up at eleven?
George: It's an incredible deal. I don't know why you don't come with me.
Jerry: I don't go for these non-refundable deals. I can't commit to a woman. I'm not going to commit to an airline.

Quote from Jerry

[stand-up:]
Jerry: I'm going to get a physical examination. To me, that urine sample, giving them that is always a pleasure, isn't it? Then there's always the amount question. I don't know what you need. I gave you whatever I have there. That's... I've got more. Whatever you need. I could get more. Just let me know what you need. It's no problem. But, I mean, any kind of physical test, I always click into this thing where I want to do really well, you know. If there's going to be a physical test, I want to do well. Remember, when you were in school, they'd do those hearing tests. And you'd really be listening, you know... Trying to be really... Trying to do well. I want to do well, you know. I wanted to do unbelievable on the hearing test. I wanted them to come to me after the test and go: "We think you may have something close to super hearing. What you heard was a cotton ball touching a piece of felt. We're sending the results to Washington. We'd like you to meet the President."