Kramer Quote #126
Quote from Kramer in The Suicide
Jerry: So we're in the room and she's trying to get me to kiss her right in front of him.
Kramer: Uh-huh. You see, that's the great thing about Mediterranean women. All right, so what did you do?
Jerry: Nothing.
Kramer: Ah, what kind of a man are you? The guy is unconscious in a coma and you don't have the guts to kiss his girlfriend?
Jerry: I didn't know what the coma etiquette was.
Kramer: There is no coma etiquette. You see that's the beauty of the coma, man. It doesn't matter what you do around it.
Jerry: So you're saying, his girl, his car, his clothes, it's all up for grabs. You can just loot the coma victim.
Kramer: I'd give him 24 hours to get out of it. If they can't get out of it in 24 hours, it's a land rush.
Jerry: So if the coma victim wakes up in a month, he's thrilled, he got out of the coma. He goes home, there's nothing left?
Kramer: Nothing left! That's why I'm trying to get that vacuum cleaner. Because somebody's going to grab it.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Suicide’ Quotes
Quote from George
George: Are there terrorists on the plane? A hotel fire. Is that it? Malaria? Yellow fever? Lupus? Is it Lupus?
Quote from Jerry
George: Hey, I'm all set. I got the ticket. I'm going to the Cayman Islands this Friday.
Jerry: I don't get you. Who goes on vacation without a job? What do you need a break from getting up at eleven?
George: It's an incredible deal. I don't know why you don't come with me.
Jerry: I don't go for these non-refundable deals. I can't commit to a woman. I'm not going to commit to an airline.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I'm going to get a physical examination. To me, that urine sample, giving them that is always a pleasure, isn't it? Then there's always the amount question. I don't know what you need. I gave you whatever I have there. That's... I've got more. Whatever you need. I could get more. Just let me know what you need. It's no problem. But, I mean, any kind of physical test, I always click into this thing where I want to do really well, you know. If there's going to be a physical test, I want to do well. Remember, when you were in school, they'd do those hearing tests. And you'd really be listening, you know... Trying to be really... Trying to do well. I want to do well, you know. I wanted to do unbelievable on the hearing test. I wanted them to come to me after the test and go: "We think you may have something close to super hearing. What you heard was a cotton ball touching a piece of felt. We're sending the results to Washington. We'd like you to meet the President."