Elaine Quote #119
Quote from Elaine in The Stranded
Elaine: Hey, is that real fur?
Jerry: Oh boy.
Ava: It better be or my ex-husband owes me an explanation.
George: Yeah, good night.
Elaine: You don't care that innocent defenseless animals are being tortured so that you can look good?
George: Could we talk about this some other time?
Ava: Are you a vegetarian?
Jerry: Here we go.
Elaine: Yeah, I eat fish occasionally.
Ava: So you're a hypocrite.
George: Hey, I've eaten frogs, so nobody's perfect. Anyway-
Ava: Well, talk to me when you stop eating fish.
Elaine: Fish don't feel any pain.
Ava: How do you know? Do you communicate with fish?
Elaine: Well, they're not kept in little cages.
Ava: Ever seen a goldfish?
George: Goldfish.
Elaine: Yeah, yeah I've seen goldfish. They're not unhappy.
Ava: Oh yeah, right. Swim around in a bowl for two weeks and get flushed down the toilet, that's a good life. [to George] Come on, let's go.
Elaine: Oh yeah, that's right. Go ahead, go ahead, maybe you can run over a squirrel!
George: That's why we're here in America.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Stranded’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: What could possess anyone to throw a party? I mean, to have a bunch of strangers treat your house like a hotel room.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: So I was in the drug store the other day, trying to get a cold medication. You ever try and pick one of these out? It's not easy. It's a wall. It's an entire wall of cold medication, you stand there, you're going, "All right, all right, all right, okay, what the hell am I...? This is quick-acting, but this is long-lasting. When do I need to feel good, now or later?" It's a tough question. And they always show you the commercials on TV where they show you what's wrong with the guy, you know? And they always show you, like, all the problems that he's having. First of all, the always show you the human body, which is usually this guy. No face, mouth open... This is how drug companies see the public. And he's always in, like, a certain pain. It's like red wavy lines are going through him or he's glowing. Parts of him are on fire sometimes. Lightning is attacking him. I never had a doctor say to me, "Are you having any pain?" "Yes, I am." "Are you having any lightning with the pain?"
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: There's two types of favors, the big favor and the small favor. You can measure the size of the favor by the pause that a person takes after they ask you to "do me a favor." Small favor, small pause. "Can you do me a favor, hand me that pencil?" No pause at all. Big favors are, "Could you do me a favor..."