Jerry Quote #289
Babu Bhatt: Welcome to the Dream Cafe.
Jerry: Well, I've been looking forward to it.
Babu Bhatt: Oh, how did you hear about us?
Jerry: Eh, people, people are talking.
Babu Bhatt: Smoking or non-smoking? We are proud to offer both.
Jerry: Non-smoking would be great.
Babu Bhatt: Very good. My name is Babu Bhatt, I will be your waiter. A steaming hot face cloth for your pleasure.
Jerry: Thank you. [throws the cloth around like a hot potato]
Babu Bhatt: Our specials are tacos, moussaka, and franks and beans.
Jerry: Well, what do you recommend my good fellow?
Babu Bhatt: Oh, the turkey.
Jerry: Oh, the turkey it'll be. And may I say you have a splendid establishment here , my friend. I'm sure you will flourish in this location for many many years.
Babu Bhatt: You're a very kind man. Very kind, thank you. Very kind.
Jerry: [inner monologue] Very kind. I am a kind man. Who else would do something like this? Nobody. Nobody thinks about people like I do. All right, snap out of it you stupid jerk. You're eating a turkey sandwich. What do want, a Nobel price?
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Cafe’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Anyway, it's been two years. I mean isn't there like statue of limitations on that?
Jerry: Statute.
Kramer: What?
Jerry: Statute of limitations. It's not a statue.
Kramer: No, it's statue.
Jerry: Fine, it's a sculpture of limitations.
Kramer: Just wait a minute. Elaine, Elaine! Now, you're smart, is it statue or statute of limitations?
Elaine: Statute.
Kramer: Oh, I really think you're wrong.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: You know, there's always that one location, one store location that's constantly changing hands. Everybody has this in their neighborhood. It's a leather store, then it's a yogurt shop, it's a pet supply. It's constantly changing and nobody can do business there. It's like some sort of Bermuda triangle of retail, you know? Stores open up and then they just disappear without a trace. Nobody knows what happened to 'em. I guess eventually, when, like, aliens land in mother ship of close encounters, bottom will slowly open and all these store owners will come wondering out in a daze going, "I thought there would be more walk-in traffic didn't you?"
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: It's tough to do a good deed. Let's lok at your professional good deed doers. Your Lone Rangers, your Supermen, your Batmen, your Spidermen, your Elasticmen. They are all wearing disguises. Masks over their faces. Secret identities. Don't want people to know who they are. It's too much aggravation. "Superman, yeah, thanks for saving my life, but did you have to come through my wall? I'm renting here. They've got a security deposit. What am I supposed to do?"