Jerry Quote #276
Quote from Jerry in The Parking Garage
Jerry: I'm telling you, I've had this condition since I was eleven-years-old! I've been in and out of hospitals my whole life. I have no control over it. Doctors have told me that when I feel it, the best thing to do is just release it. Otherwise, I could die. Do you hear what I'm saying to you?! I'm telling you that if I don't go, I could die. Die! Is it worth dying for?
Security Guard: That's up to you.
Jerry: So you don't care if I die?
Security Guard: What I care about is the sanitary condition of the parking facility.
Jerry: Why would I do it unless I was in mortal danger? I know it's against the law.
Security Guard: I don't know.
Jerry: Because I could get "uromysistisis" poisoning and die, that's why. You think I enjoy living like this? The shame, the humiliation? You know, I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the place.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Parking Garage’ Quotes
Quote from George
George: Oh, what's the difference? We'll all be dead eventually.
Kramer: Does that bother you?
George: Yeah, it bothers me. Doesn't it bother you?
Kramer: Not at all.
George: You see, now that bothers me even more than dying bothers me, cause it's people like you who live to be 120 because you're not bothered by it. How could it not bother you?
Kramer: Well, I once saw this thing on TV with people who are terminally ill. And every one of them believed the secret of life is just to live every moment.
George: Yeah, I've heard that. Meanwhile I'm here with you in a parking garage in Jersey.
Quote from George
George: All right, let me say this to you. If I am not in front of my house at 6:15, when my parents get there, they are going to put me on an aggravation installment plan that will compound with interest for decades.
Jerry: Parents never forget a foul-up. I once left my jacket on the bus when I was fourteen. I was flying to Chicago last week on a plane, "Make sure you hang on to your jacket."
Quote from George
George: You should see what my father used to go through before he bought a new car. He'd go from state to state. He was away for weeks at a time. It was like he was running for President and he was going through the primaries. We'd get phone calls from motels in New Hampshire.