Jerry Quote #77
Quote from Jerry in The Ex-Girlfriend
[stand-up:]
Jerry: Waiting room. I hate when they make you wait in the room. 'cause it says "Waiting room." There's no chance of not waiting, 'cause they call it the waiting room. They're going to use it. They've got it. It's all set up for you to wait. And you sit there, you know, and you've got your little magazine. You pretend you're reading it, but you're really looking at the other people. You know, you're thinking about about them things like "I wonder what he's got." "As soon as she goes, I'm getting her magazine." And then, they finally call you and it's a very exciting moment. They finally call you, and you stand up and you kinda look around at the other people in the room. "Well, I guess I've been chosen. I'll see you all later." You know, so you think you're going to see the doctor, but you're not, are you? No. You're going into the next waiting room. The littler waiting room. But if they are, you know, doing some sort of medical thing to you, you want to be in the smallest room that they have, I think. You don't want to be in the largest room that they have. You know what I mean? You ever see these operating theaters, that they have, with like, stadium seating? You don't want them doing anything to you that makes other doctors go, "I have to see this!" "Are you kidding? Are they really gonna do that to him?" "Are there seats? Can we get in?" Do they scalp tickets to these things? "I got two for the Winslow tumor, I got two.."
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Ex-Girlfriend’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: So forget about the books. Did you read them?
George: Well, yeah.
Jerry: What do you need them for?
George: I don't know. They're books.
Jerry: What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
George: They're my books.
Quote from George
Jerry: So, how was it?
George: I was in there for two minutes. He didn't do anything. Touch this, feel that. Seventy-five bucks.
Jerry: Well, it's a first visit.
George: What's seventy-five bucks? What, am I seeing Sinatra in there?! Am I being entertained? I don't understand this. I'm only paying half.
Jerry: You can't do that.
George: Why not?
Jerry: He's a doctor. You gotta pay what he says.
George: Oh, no, no, no. I pay what I say.
Quote from Jerry
[stand-up:]
Jerry: I'm always in traffic with the lane expert. You know this type of person? Constantly reevaluating their lane choice.. Never quite sure, "Is this the best lane for me? For my life?" They're always a little bit ahead of you, "Can I get in over there? Could I get in over here? Could I get in there?" "Yeah, come on over here, pal. We're zoomin' over here. This is the secret lane, nobody knows about it.." The ultimate, I think the ultimate psychological test of traffic is the total dead stop. Not even rolling. And you look out the window, you can see gum clearly. So we know that in the future traffic will get even worse than that. I mean, what will happen? Will it start moving backwords, I wonder? I mean, is that possible? That someday we'll be going "Boy, this is some really bad traffic now, boy. This, is really bad. I'm gonna try to get off and get back on going the other way."