Kramer: Newman and I are reversing the peepholes on our door. So you can see in.
Elaine: Why?
Newman: To prevent an ambush.
Kramer: Yeah, so now I can peek to see if anyone is waiting to jack me with a sock full of pennies.
Jerry: But then anyone can just look in and see you.
Kramer: Our policy is we're comfortable with our bodies. You know, if someone wants to help themselves to an eyeful, well, we say, enjoy the show.

Elaine: Oh, I walked by Bloomingdale's the other day, and I saw that massage chair we want to get Joe Mayo as an apartment gift.
George: An apartment-warming gift? We got to give presents to people for moving? Birthdays, Christmas, it's enough gifts. I would like one month off.
Jerry: Kramer said it's a perfect gift. That's what we're getting him.
George: All right, but we're not buying it at Bloomingdale's. I will buy it, you pay me back later. I'll sniff out a deal. I have a sixth sense.
Jerry: Cheapness is not a sense.

Waitress: Careful, this plate is extremely hot.
Elaine: Thank you. Ow!
Waitress: I just told you it was hot. Why'd you touch it?
Elaine: I just wanted to know what your idea of 'hot' is.