Elaine Quote #828
David Puddy: Well, let's see, I've got a ten kroner, a five kroner, a twenty kroner. No wait, that's another ten kroner. A "femti" kroner? How much is that?
Elaine: We have to break up.
David Puddy: What?
Elaine: I can't take this anymore! I don't want to hear how interesting the change with the hole in it is. And if you tell me what time it is in New York again, you are going home in a body bag!
David Puddy: Well what about you? What do you think The Gap in Rome has that's not in The Gap on Broadway?
Elaine: Okay, all right listen. Forget about The Gap because we are through!
David Puddy: Fine!
Cab Driver: Okay, terminal three. Have a nice flight.
Quote from George
Jerry: You got the job?
George: Jerry, it's fantastic. I love the people over there. They treat me so great. You know, they think I'm handicapped. They gave me this incredible office, a great view.
Jerry: Hold on. They think you're handicapped?
George: Yeah, yeah. Well, because of the cane. You should see the bathroom they gave me!
Jerry: How can you do this?
George: Jerry, let's face it, I've always been handicapped. I'm just now getting the recognition for it. Name one thing I have that puts me in a position of advantage, huh? There was a guy that worked at the Yankees, no arms! He got more work done than I did, made more money. He had a wife, a family, drove a better car than I did.
Jerry: He drove a car with no arms?
George: All, right I made up the part about the car, but the rest is true. He hated me anyway!
Jerry: Do you know how hard it's getting just to tell people I know you?
George: I love that bathroom. It's got that high, high toilet. I feel like a gargoyle perched on the ledge of a building.
Quote from The Muffin Tops
Woman: I can't believe somebody pulled the top off of this muffin.
Elaine: That was me. I'm sorry. I don't like the stumps.
Mr. Lippman: So you just eat the tops?
Elaine: Oh, yeah. It's the best part. It's crunchy. It's explosive. It's where the muffin breaks free of the pan and sort of does its own thing. I'll tell you. That's a million dollar idea right there. Just sell the tops.
Quote from The Andrea Doria
George: The tenant association made me give it to this guy because he was an Andrea Doria survivor.
Elaine: Andrea Doria? Isn't that the one they did the song about?
Jerry: Edmund Fitzgerald.
Elaine: I love Edmund Fitzgerald's voice.
Jerry: No, Gordon Lightfoot was the singer. Edmund Fitzgerald was the ship.
George: You could fit 15 people in that bathroom..
Elaine: I think Gordon Lightfoot was the boat.
Jerry: Yeah, and it was rammed by the Cat Stevens.