Kramer Quote #915

Quote from Kramer in The Muffin Tops

George: Wait a minute. I think I understand this. J. Peterman is real. His biography is not. Now, you Kramer are real.
Kramer: Talk to me.
George: But your life is Peterman's. Now the bus tour, which is real, takes you to places that, while they are real, they are not real in sense that they did not really happen to the real Peterman which is you.
Kramer: Understand?
Jerry: Yeah. $37.50 for a 3 Musketeers.

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 ‘The Muffin Tops’ Quotes

Quote from Elaine

Woman: I can't believe somebody pulled the top off of this muffin.
Elaine: That was me. I'm sorry. I don't like the stumps.
Mr. Lippman: So you just eat the tops?
Elaine: Oh, yeah. It's the best part. It's crunchy. It's explosive. It's where the muffin breaks free of the pan and sort of does its own thing. I'll tell you. That's a million dollar idea right there. Just sell the tops.

Quote from Kramer

Jerry: Hey, what were you doing with that bus yesterday?
Kramer: Here you go. Here you go. Check it out.
Jerry: "The Real Peterman Reality Bus Tour". I'm confused.
Kramer: Peterman's book is big business. People want to know the stories behind the stories.
Jerry: Nobody wants to go on a three hour bus tour of a totally unknown person's life.
Kramer: I'm only charging $37.50, plus you get a pizza bagel and desert.
George: What's desert?
Kramer: Bite-size 3 Musketeers. Just like the real Peterman eats.
George: He eats those?
Kramer: No. I eat those. I'm the real Peterman.

Quote from George

George: All right. Let me ask you something: When do you start to worry about ear hair?
Jerry: When you hear like a soft rustling.
George: It's like puberty that never stops. Ear puberty, nose puberty, knuckle puberty, you gotta be vigilant.