Jerry Quote #1575
Jerry: So again, Mr. Mandelbaum, this back specialist is supposed to be the best. So if there's anything else I can do, please don't hesitate to, uh, try and find my number.
Izzy: Uh, oh, wait. [grabs t-shirt] How about that, huh? "The World's Greatest Dad". My son made it for me.
Jerry: That's very nice.
Izzy: The best in the world. Which means I'm better than just #1.
Jerry: Well, I don't know how official any of these rankings really are.
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Over there. The Dominicans.
Jerry: Aren't they supposed to be rolling cigars?
Kramer: Well, it didn't quite work out, and now I've got nothing for them to do.
Kramer: So, I taught them all about Cuba, and they really took to it. You know, Marxism, the Worker's Revolution, the clothing.
Jerry: Boy, they seem pretty angry about something.
Kramer: Yeah. I'm a little worried. When there's no work, and the people get restless, who do you think they come after? [points to himself] El Presidente!
Quote from Elaine
J. Peterman: Elaine, I hope you're watching the clothes, because I can't take my eyes off the passion.
Elaine: No. No, I can't do this any more. I can't. It's too long. [to the screen] Quit telling your stupid story about the stupid desert and just die already! [shouts] Die!
J. Peterman: Elaine. You don't like the movie?
Elaine: [shouts] I hate it!
Elaine: Oh, go to hell!!
J. Peterman: Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? You're fired.
Elaine: Great. I'll wait for you outside.
Quote from The Puffy Shirt
Bryant Gumbel: Look, I'm sorry, it is just a very unusual shirt. It could be, kind of, a whole new look for you. You could put a patch over an eye. You could be the pirate comedian.
Bryant Gumbel: Will you wear the puffy shirt at the..?
Jerry: Look, it's not my shirt.
Bryant Gumbel: Whose shirt is it?
Jerry: What's the difference? I agreed to wear it. It's a puffy shirt. I feel ridiculous in it. I think it's the stupidest shirt I've ever seen, to be perfectly honest with you.
Leslie: [o.s., loudly] You bastard!
Bryant Gumbel: Did you hear that?
Jerry: That I heard.
Quote from The Yada Yada
Tim Whatley: Father Curtis told me about your little joke.
Jerry: What about all your Jewish jokes?
Tim Whatley: I'm Jewish. You're not a dentist. You have no idea what my people have been through.
Jerry: The Jews?
Tim Whatley: No, the dentists. You know, we have the highest suicide rate of any profession?
Jerry: Is that why it's so hard to get an appointment?
Quote from The Outing
Jerry: Oh, God. You're that girl in the coffee shop that was eavesdropping on us. I knew you looked familiar.
George: Oh, no! No!
Sharon: I better get going.
Jerry: There's been a big misunderstanding here. We did that for your benefit. We knew you were eavesdropping. That's why my friend said all that. It was on purpose. We're not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.