Kramer Quote #858
Quote from Kramer in The Van Buren Boys
Man: Hey, Kramer, Ramirez has never heard your pants story.
Kramer: Okay. Well, you know, I had Bob Saccamano on the phone, and I suddenly realized that I-
Elaine: You can't tell that story now. It belongs to Peterman.
Kramer: What do you mean?
Elaine: You signed the release.
Kramer: Yeah.
Elaine: He sat in mud. Not you.
Kramer: But I did sit in mud.
Elaine: You didn't! You never sat in mud!
Kramer: I was all dirty!
Elaine: It never happened! Understand?
[Kramer's friends get restless and beg for the rest of the story]
Kramer: Hey, hey, hey! All right! Yeah, uh, yeah.. well.. Uh, the pants. they, uh, they fit, uh, well - and so I, uh, decided I wasn't gonna return them! [laughs]
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Van Buren Boys’ Quotes
Quote from George
George: Hey, I think I may have found someone for the scholarship.
Jerry: Yeah?
George: I'm interviewing all these annoying little overachievers, and finally, this kid walks in, Steven Koren, a regular guy, likes sports, watches TV.
Jerry: Is he smart?
George: He knows how to read. And he also knows finishing an entire book doesn't prove anything. And get this. He's into architecture.
Jerry: Hey, just like you pretend to be.
George: Yes. With a little guidance, Steven Koren is going to be everything I claim to be, only for real. That's my dream, Jerry.
Quote from George
George: So, uh, Steven.. I see you're president of the chess club.
Steven: State champs.
George: Who's your favorite chess player?
Steven: [mumbles] Nastercoff?
George: Right. [mumbles] Nastercoff. What country is he from, again?
Steven: [sighs] I don't know. I made it up. [gets up to leave] I'm never gonna get this thing.
George: [gets up] Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you telling me for? You really had me going, there! Come on, sit down. What do you want to do when you grow up?
Steven: I've been telling people that I'd like to be an architect.
Quote from J. Peterman
J. Peterman: [answers phone] Peterman, here.
Kramer: Mr. Peterson, you gotta sell me my stories back.
J. Peterman: You want to know something? I no longer need them.
Elaine: No, no. Mr. Peterman, why don't we keep them as a, as a reference?
J. Peterman: Nonsense. [to Kramer] I have Benes' wonderfully imaginative mind to spin my stories. You take back your tales, you vagabond!
Kramer: Yippie-yi-yay!
J. Peterman: [hangs up] There you are, Elaine. Go forth, and create. And, by the way, when you get to that chapter about my romantic escapades, feel free to toss yourself in the mix.