Jerry Quote #1491

Quote from Jerry in The Checks

Jerry: See that salesman twirling that umbrella.
Elaine: Uh-huh.
Jerry: I invented that.
Elaine: That had to be invented?
Jerry: When I started out as a comedian, I sold umbrellas. It was my idea to twirl it, to attract customers.
Elaine: Oh, really? Well, why don't we ask him about it?

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 ‘The Checks’ Quotes

Quote from George

Jerry: It's the twirling that dazzles the eye.
George: I find it disorienting. Who buys an umbrella anyway? You get them for free in the coffee shop in the metal cans.
Jerry: Those belong to people.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Oh, by the way, tell Brett that his chest of drawers are a big hit. My guests are very comfortable in them.
Elaine: In them?!
Jerry: You have them sleeping in drawers?!
Kramer: Jerry, have you ever seen the business hotels in Tokyo? They sleep in tiny stacked cubicles all the time. They feel right at home.
Jerry: This has international incident written all over it.
Kramer: Oh yeah, yeah.

Quote from George

Jerry: No spiel?
George: Not a peep. They just cleaned the carpets and left. They call themselves a cult!
Jerry: So you're angry that this bizarre carpet cabal made no attempt to abduct you?
George: They could've at least tried!
Jerry: You know, maybe they thought you looked too smart to be brainwashed?
George: Please.
Jerry: Too dumb?