Jerry Quote #1476
Quote from Jerry in The Package
George: Why'd you refuse that? Everybody loves a package.
Jerry: I don't know. It was weird. Crazy printing. I don't know who it was from.
George: What do you think, it's a bomb?
Jerry: It's not totally impossible.
George: Oh, the ego on you.
Jerry: Why can't I be bomb-able?
George: Who's going to bomb you? An airline for all the stupid little peanut jokes?
Jerry: Oh, I suppose you think your bomb-able.
George: Hey, there's a couple of people that wouldn't mind having me out of the way.
Jerry: There's more than a couple.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Package’ Quotes
Quote from Kramer
Jerry: So we're going to make the post office pay for my new stereo?
Kramer: It's a write-off for them.
Jerry: How is it a write-off?
Kramer: They just write it off.
Jerry: Write it off what?
Kramer: Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything.
Jerry: You don't even know what a write-off is.
Kramer: Do you?
Jerry: No. I don't.
Kramer: But they do. And they're the ones writing it off.
Quote from Newman
Newman: Gentlemen, gentlemen. I am so happy to see you both. There is just some inconsistencies I'd like to straighten out.
Jerry: I'm clean and you know it.
Newman: Clean? Hardly. This doesn't like like a man that is happy with his stereo performance, now, does it?
Jerry: Where did you get that?
George: I think that's one of mine.
Newman: It looks like you're breaking into it like an otter breaks open a clam.
Jerry: Well, I don't know about that but I'm sure there is a explanation.
Newman: Yes, it's called mail fraud. Oh, how I've longed for this moment, Seinfeld. The day when I would have the proof I needed to hall you out of your cushy lair and expose to the light of justice as the monster that you are. A monster so vile!
Co-worker: Newman!
Newman: There will be a small fine.
Jerry: Okay.
Quote from George
Elaine: And then he starts writing on my chart.
George: Well, why don't you get a hold of it and change what you don't like?
Elaine: You can't change your chart. It's your chart.
George: I am in and out of my personnel file at work all the time.
Elaine: You are?
George: Hey, I've kept the same job for more than two years. It's not luck.