Jerry Quote #1429

Quote from Jerry in The Invitations

[stand-up:]
Jerry: I think that if the wedding invitations were left up to the men, we'd just drive around sticking flyers in windshields, you know. Not even typed up either, just Magic Marker, Xerox, you know... "Party." What's needed is a divorce announcement. "Mr. and Mrs. Fred Johnson are requesting the honor of your presence at the 'returning' of their daughter back to Mr. and Mrs. Fred Johnson."

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 ‘The Invitations’ Quotes

Quote from George

George: It's coming, Jerry. It's coming.
Jerry: What's coming?
George: The day.
Jerry: Ah, the day.
George: We ordered the wedding invitations today. Nothing can stop it now. Nothing. It's here! It's happening. Can I do this? I can't do this! Look at me. Look at me. I can't do this! I can't do this! Help me, Jerry, help me.
Jerry: Why don't you just break it off with her? Tell her it's over.
George: I can't.
Jerry: Why not?
George: 'cause I can't face that scene. You know what kind of scene that would be? I'd rather be unhappy for the rest of my life than go through something like that. I can't! I can't! I've tried to psyche myself up a million times, I cannot go through that.

Quote from George

Jerry: So write a letter, move to another borough. Move to Staten Island. It's a lot easier to blend in a sea of people in Staten Island than China believe me.
George: Yeah. Yeah. Staten Island. What about my clothes, how do I get the rest of the clothes?
Jerry: Aah, you come back for your clothes.
George: I'm not going back in there.
Jerry: So forget about your clothes.
George: Well, I'm not starting up a whole new wardrobe now!
Jerry: Look, freedom with no clothes is a lot better than no freedom with clothes.

Quote from Jerry

Jerry: I think I'm in love.
Kramer: Oh, come on.
Jerry: No, it's true. This woman saved my life. I was crossing the street .I was almost hit by a car. And then we talked, and the whole thing just seemed like a dream.
Kramer: If a guy saved your life you'd be in love with him too.
Jerry: No, this woman is different. She's incredible. She's just like me. She talks like me. She acts like me. She even orders cereal in a restaurant. We even have the same initials. Wait a minute, I just realized what's going on.
Kramer: What?
Jerry: Now I know what I've been looking for all these years... Myself. I've been waiting for me to come along. And now I've swept myself off my feet.
Kramer: You stop it man. You're freaking me out!