Jerry Quote #1389
Quote from Jerry in The Wig Master
Jerry: So I didn't like the crest all that much, but the guy spent fifteen minutes with me so to get out of the store I told him I wanted to see what someone else thought. And then he makes a face like he doesn't believe me.
Elaine: Ah, so he knew that you were making it up.
Jerry: Yeah, he caught me So here's what I want you to do. Come back with me to the store and we'll pretend to look at the coat.
Elaine: That's ridiculous. Why do do you want to go back there if you don't want the coat?
Jerry: Because he thinks I was lying and I want to show him I wasn't.
Elaine: But you were!
Jerry: But if you go back with me, then I'm not.
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Wig Master’ Quotes
Quote from Jerry
Elaine: Ah! Jerry, I've been around long enough to know when I'm being worked.
Jerry: Have you slept with him yet?
Elaine: I just met him this morning.
Jerry: It's been known to happen.. I'm telling you right now, Elaine, this guy's gonna dangle that dress in front of you like a dirt farmer dangles a carrot in front of a mule.
Elaine: Well, this is all very flattering.
Jerry: Like a shark fisherman with a bucket of chum.
Elaine: Okay.
Jerry: Like a shrimp farmer-
Elaine: Okay!
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: Excuse me, I'd like to return this jacket.
Salesperson: Certainly. May I ask why?
Jerry: For spite.
Salesperson: Spite?
Jerry: That's right. I don't care for the salesman that sold it to me.
Salesperson: I don't think you can return an item for spite.
Jerry: What do you mean?
Salesperson: Well, if there was some problem with the garment. If it were unsatisfactory in some way, then
we could do it for you. But I'm afraid spite doesn't fit into any of our conditions for a refund
Jerry: That's ridiculous. I want to return it. What's the difference what the reason is?
Quote from Kramer
Kramer: Well, how do you know he's not wondering the same thing about you?
Elaine: What do you mean?
Kramer: What do I mean? Well, perhaps he thinks that you're working him for the discount. Shaking that little butt of yours into big, big savings. And then when you get it, you know, you drop him like a hot potato.
Elaine: Oh, please.
Kramer: No, see, the two of you need to work on trust. And then, and only then, will there be a free exchange of sex and discounts. The cornerstones of a healthy relationship. And now, if you would excuse us, we need to get to bed.