Jerry Quote #1362

Quote from Jerry in The Doll

George: Well, this is certainly a crappy gift..
Jerry: A door mat? That's what she had me lug up from Memphis?!
George: Pretty chintzy, huh? Considering the money she makes. She's a big executive for Federal Express.
Jerry: Federal Express?! Is she out of her mind? Why didn't she just ship it?!

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 ‘The Doll’ Quotes

Quote from Frank Costanza

Elaine: You know, the photo I took in Tuscany of the little man in front of the sign that said "Costanza"?
Frank Costanza: There's a Costanza in Tuscany? Did he look like me? Did you talk to him?
Elaine: I didn't talk to anyone. I was just walking by, and I saw the sign, and I thought George might get a kick out of it.
Frank Costanza: I gotta get that picture. It could be my cousin, Carlo.
Elaine: Who is that?
George: When the Costanzas came here, one brother stayed behind.
Frank Costanza: I played with his son every day until the age of four. And then we separated.
Elaine: So, you weren't born here?
Frank Costanza: No. That's why I can never be president. It always irked me. That's why, even at an early age, I had no interest in politics. I refuse to vote. [shouts] They don't want me, I don't want them!

Quote from George

Doll: [Estelle's voice] Georgie! Don't eat with your hands! Why do you eat so fast?! You can't even taste it!
George: Don't tell me how to eat!
Doll: You're wearing that shirt? You've had it for five years already! Why don't you buy a new shirt?!
George: Because I like this one! [gets up, grabs the doll] Come on, let's go. Let's go!
[As George gets up to leave, he runs into Deena, the woman who thought he was having a break down.]
George: Oh, hi. [exits]
Deena: [to Ruthie, the cashier] That man should really be in a sanitarium.

Quote from Kramer

Kramer: Jerry, why don't you do a bit on Styrofoam?
Jerry: Like what?
Kramer: Well, uh... [impersonate Jerry's act] "What is this stuff? Why do we need this stuff?.. And why do they make them so small..?"
Jerry: Where's the punchline?
Kramer: It's all attitude.