Jerry Quote #1350
Quote from Jerry in The Shower Head
Jerry: You see this? Any thought pops into their head they're calling me because it's a local call now. I'm used to a 1200 mile buffer zone. I can't handle this. Plus I got the dinners, I got the pop ins. They pop in! It's brutal!
Elaine: They have no idea when they're going back to Florida?
Jerry: The only way out of this is if Leo breaks up with his girlfriend and has to move back into the apartment and then they would have to go back to Florida.
Elaine: How's that gonna happen?
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Shower Head’ Quotes
Quote from J. Peterman
Elaine: Oh, hi, Mr. Peterman. Do you realize how short the Kalahari Bushmen are? I'm going to look like a giant to those guys. [laughs]
J. Peterman: I'm afraid I have some bad news, Elaine. It appears you will not be accompanying me to Africa.
Elaine: What? Why not?
J. Peterman: I'm afraid it's your urine, Elaine. You tested positive for opium.
Elaine: Opium?
J. Peterman: That's right, Elaine. White lotus. Yam-yam. Shanghai Sally.
Elaine: That's impossible, I've never done a drug in my life. Dr. Strugatz must have made a mistake.
J. Peterman: Not a chance. I'm afraid I'll just have to find someone else to accompany me on my journey. The dark continent is no place for an addict, Elaine.
Quote from Jerry
[on The Tonight Show:]
Jay Leno: Welcome back. Talking with Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry, let me ask you. I saw some people back there. They look like family? Is that family?
Jerry: Yeah, I got some family backstage. Of course my family's nuts. They're crazy. Yeah. My Uncle Leo, I had lunch with him the other day. He's one of these guys that anything goes wrong in life, he blames it on anti-Semitism. You know what I mean? The spaghetti's not al dente? Ah, the cook's an anti-Semite. Loses a bet on a horse. Secretariat? Anti-Semitic. Even the horse. Even the animal. Doesn't get a good seat at temple on the High Holy Days? Rabbi? Anti-Semite.
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: How could I have tested positive twice? I mean, once I could understand, that's a mistake. But twice?
Waitress: Yeah, it's hard to figure.
Elaine: I mean I lost my job, I can't go to Africa. I was gonna meet the Bushmen of the Kalahari.
Waitress: Ah, the Bushmen?
Elaine: And the Bushwomen.
Man: Excuse me. I couldn't help overhearing. I notice you're eating a poppy seed muffin.
Elaine: Yeah, I eat these muffins all the time.
Man: Well, you know what opium is made from...
Elaine: Poppies!