Jerry Quote #1333

Quote from Jerry in The Seven

Jerry: I love it when people are complimented on something they're wearing and they accept the compliment as if it was about them. "Nice tie." "Well, thank you. Thank you very much." The compliment is for the tie, it's not for you, but we take it. And that's kind of the job of clothes, to get compliments for us. Because it's very hard to get compliments based on your human qualities. Right? Let's face it, no matter how nice a person you are, nobody's gonna come say, "Hey, nice person." It's much easier to be a bastard and just try and match the colors up.


 ‘The Seven’ Quotes

Quote from Newman

Newman: Well, you've both presented very convincing arguments. On the one hand, Elaine, your promise was given in haste. But was it not still a promise? Hmm? And, Kramer, you did provide a service in exchange for compensation. But, does the fee, once paid, not entitle the buyer to some assurance Of reliability? Hmm? Huh? Ah. These were not easy questions to answer. Not for any man. But I have made a decision. We will... cut the bike down the middle, and give half to each of you.
Elaine: What?! This is your solution?! To ruin the bike?! All right, fine. Fine. Go ahead. [stands up] Cut the stupid thing in half.
Kramer: No, no, no. Give it to her. I'd rather it belonged to another than see it destroyed. Newman, give it to her, I beg you.
Elaine: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Newman: Not so fast, Elaine! Only the bike's true owner would rather give it away than see it come to harm. Kramer, the bike is yours!

Quote from Jerry

George: Three days? Well, maybe you caught her on the cusp of a new wash cycle. You know, she did laundry the day after she met you, everything got clean and she started all over again.
Jerry: Possibly, but then shouldn't the outfit only reappear again at the end of the cycle?
George: Maybe she moved it up in the rotation.
Jerry: Why? It's our first date. She's already in reruns?
George: Very curious.
Jerry: Indeed.
George: You know, Einstein wore the exact same outfit every day.
Jerry: Well, if she splits the atom, I'll let it slide.

Quote from Kramer

Jerry: Hey, is this your half a can of soda in the fridge?
Kramer: No, that's yours. My half is gone.
Jerry: What?
Kramer: Yeah, I put my half a can here on the tab. Why, what's your beef?
Jerry: You cannot buy half a can of soda.
Kramer: Well, why not?
Jerry: Well, I don't wanna get into the whole physics of carbonation with you here, but you know the sound a can makes when you open it?
Kramer: Yeah.
Jerry: That is the sound of you buying a whole can. And the same goes for this, okay? [Jerry holds up an apple with a huge bite missing] When you pierce the skin of a piece of fruit, you've bought the whole fruit. Not a third of an apple. Not a half of a banana. You bite it, you bought it.