Jerry Quote #1331
George: [on the phone] Hey, it's George.
Jerry: Where have you been?
George: What?
Jerry: I just got the most bizarre message from you father. Steinbrenner is at you house. They think you're dead!
George: Dead?
Jerry: Yeah, and we had an accident with your car. It's a little crumpled.
George: My car is a little crumpled?
Jerry: Yeah, yeah. I didn't know what to do so I put it back at the stadium. Oh, wait a second, wait a second. They saw the car, they saw the blood, they couldn't find you. That's why Steinbrenner thinks you're dead!
Seinfeld Quotes
‘The Caddy’ Quotes
Quote from Jackie Chiles
Kramer: And she's the heir to the O'Henry candy bar fortune.
Jackie Chiles: Could you repeat that?
Kramer: I said she's the heir to the O'Henry candy bar fortune.
Jackie Chiles: O'Henry? That's one of our top-selling candy bars. It's got chocolate, peanuts, nougat. It's delicious, scrumptious, outstanding! Have you been to a doctor?
Kramer: No.
Jackie Chiles: [over intercom] Susie, call Dr. Bison, set up an appointment for Mr. Kramer. Tell him it's for me.
Kramer: So what do you think, Jackie? I mean we got a case?
Jackie Chiles: Like taking candy from a baby.
Quote from Jackie Chiles
Kramer: Well, the we saw this woman, and she was wearing a bra with no top.
Jackie Chiles: No top? She didn't have a top on?
Kramer: No. So I got distracted and I crashed the car.
Jackie Chiles: Well, how would you describe this woman? Would you say she was an attractive woman?
Kramer: Oh, yeah.
Jackie Chiles: So we got an attractive woman, wearing a bra, no top, walking around in broad daylight. She's flouting society's conventions!
Kramer: She was flouting.
Jackie Chiles: That's totally inappropriate. It's lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous!
Kramer: It was outrageous.
Quote from Jackie Chiles
Jackie Chiles: Your honor, we request at this time, that Miss Mishke try on the bra.
Judge: This court will come to order. Go ahead, Miss Mishke, try it on.
[Sue Ellen attempts to put the bra on over her top, but it's too small]
Sue Ellen: It doesn't fit. I can't put it on.
Jackie Chiles: [to Kramer and Stan] Damn fools! Look at that! We got nothing now! Nothing! I've been practicing law for 25 years, you're listening to a caddy! This is a public humiliation! You can't let the defendant have control of the key piece of evidence. Plus, she's trying it on over a leotard. Of course a bra's not gonna fit on over a leotard. A bra gotta fit right up a person's skin. Like a glove!